spring day :: jinseob

05

Winter consisted of hushed talks into the night, wrapped in each other's arms under wool blankets, chilly afternoons spent sitting in front of a heater while holding hands and hot kisses that left him totally, absolutely breathless.

Winter was a broken promise, a promise that he would come back, a promise that the most heartbreakingly gorgeous amazing man in his life had dragged down to the bottom of the sea along with the rest of the parts of himself that he had given up since the first time.

"Do you want to come to the morgue with me? To... check on him?"

Youngmin's question is hesitant, and his lips are quivering. Hyungseob knows the older hates to believes this as much as he does. Donghyun has a shift to work that day, so it's just Youngmin knocking at his doorstep when Hyungseob's very determined to stay buried underneath his sheets for the next few months, or years.

However, Hyungseob is determined not to take any step in whatever direction near the morgue.

"No."

Youngmin doesn't bother to argue today; he just nods and gives him a weak smile. "Alright, then, take care, kid."

The older man leaves and Hyungseob limply pushes the door closed behind his back. Youngmin called the night before when the news came out, when Hyungseob was still with his dance team, Hyunmin's arm warm and tight around his shoulder.

As he stares at the closed door, the memories suddenly come rushing back to him in waves, like the waves by the beach in the city, and the rush of them all brings him to his knees, tears pooling in his eyes within seconds.

He's dead.

Youngmin's gone to the morgue.

He's dead.

The realization is seemingly burning itself into his mind, but he's doing his best to push it away. It's not something he wants to think about. It's like re-opening a scarring wound, the blood scarlet and shining on the cut on his skin, and Hyungseob hates seeing blood.