Fight for your life

Chapter Fifteen

"She could have gotten us killed," Murdoc snaps, grabbing my arm and pulling my closer, his voice low.
"Yeah, well she didn't," I snap, annoyed at his feeling the need to talk to me about it in the hallway.
"Why are you even defending her?" He asks, his gaze even more intense than usual.
"Because," I snap, lowering my voice as Janet walks past. "Because, you don't understand-"
"What is there to understand?" He asks, looking exasperated.
"You don't care, because it's not something you think about," I snap, getting closer. "It's something that's important to her. We're all fine, so don't make her feel like shit about it-" He tries to cut me off, but I keep talking. "I'm not fucking kidding, Murdoc. She already knows you guys are pissed, and she won't do it again. If you drag this out, I'll-" I try to think of some sort of punishment. "I'll start sitting with David or something."
He laughs, shaking his head. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah," I say, trying not to smile. "I'll start hanging out with him instead of you."
"I think that'd hurt him more than me," he says, and I laugh.
"You're gonna beat the shit out of him because I choose him?"
"You'd never choose him," he answers, and I roll my eyes.
"You're a little too cocky, if you ask me." I say, crossing my arms. "You never know, maybe I think he's cute."
"Didn't know you had a thing for red heads," he says, grinning and ruffling my hair.
"Ack," I turn my head and push his hand off. "You are getting too cocky, but seriously- don't say anything about this again to her, okay?"
"Fine," he agrees, and I reach for the door knob.
"Wait," he stops me, staring me down, the amusement leaving his voice. "While we're alone-"
"Gonna make a move?" I ask, trying to play dumb as I avoid eye contact.
"Jones," he says, not looking away, and I know I have no choice but to look up. His dark eyes ensure mine, and I can't look away. I never can. "We still need to talk about..."
"Not here," I say, looking down the hall, where Liz and Lily are leaving their room. "Let's go upstairs." He nods, and we start down the hall in silence, allowing me plenty of time to start to panic. Something I think he realizes, because he leans down and says,
"You know I won't tell anybody. I just-" he looks down at me for a moment, and I can see the pain in his eyes. "I just don't want you to lie to me..." he looks away as he pulls the door open for me.
"I-" I sigh, watching the stairs closely as we climb them. "I didn't mean to, I just... I didn't think I'd ever make it this far, or that we'd all get so close-" I shake my head as the weight of my lie actually hits me, and before we reach the top of the stairs, I'm crying.
"Hey," he says, eyes wide in shock as he reaches out, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, it's okay- I know you just wanted to help, Jones- and you did," I wipe my eyes, before covering them with my hands, embarrassed. "You made everyone feel safer, and that's hard to do in this world."
"I'm so sorry," I say, chocking on a sob. "I'm so sorry, Mudz..."
He gently puts an arm around me, holding me tightly to his chest and stroking my hair- something is usually find condescending, but now found comforting. "It's okay, it's okay," he whispers slowly as I burry my face in his clean shirt- in a smell I don't recognize.
He holds me until I stop crying- which felt like it was hours- and once I had settled down, he sat with me at the top of the stairs. "I just," he looks down at me, and I quickly avoid eye contact, burying my face in my knees. "I want to know the truth, I guess- like how old you are, what your actual military history is- because I know you were terrible."
"How?" I ask, looking up quickly and immediately regretting it, because it's now impossible to turn away.
"Because," He grins, "I was a base away from you, we were like, a half an hour away from each other, and I was kind of like, a teachers pet, I guess," he laughs. "Anyway, I was always with our commander, and over the radio, I'd hear about all the terrible shit you did."
"But how do you know it was me?" I ask, shaking my head.
"Well, I saw your picture once, and I knew I recognized you when we met, but one thing confirmed it," he said with a grin. "Mrs. I-flipped-a-school-bus."
"Damn it," I mutter, shaking my head.
"That's not the only reason I found out, though," He adds, making me groan. "You also don't really act like a military leader. I'm surprised Barrett hasn't noticed."
"Me too," I add, nodding. We sit in silence for a moment, both thinking.
"How old are you?" We both turn to look at each other, and I sigh.
"18."
His eyes widen, and he grins. "So I'm older than you?"
"Yep," I say, nodding and looking away.
"So I'm like, the oldest in the group?"
"Of our group," I nod. "Joan's group is mostly older than us."
"I guess so," he says, still grinning. After another moment of silence, and his eyes burning into me. When I met his eyes, I could see the curiosity. "Can you tell me about yourself?"
"You already know me," I start, but he shakes his head.
"I mean before all this- before I knew you."
"Why?" I ask, frowning. The past isn't something I like to dwell on- I try to focus on our future.
"I just... I want to know everything about you, Jones."
I stay quiet, unsure of what to say next, and luckily, we hear the door downstairs open, and we stay silent as we listen to them walk downstairs. Then, finally, I start. "My dad died when I was really young. I don't really remember him, just that life was a lot better before he died. After that, my mom got really depressed, and couldn't really hold it together, so my aunt and cousin came to live with us. My aunt was really mean and strict, and," I laugh a little. "That didn't go over great with me. I was kind of like, the town delinquent I guess? Even though it was a huge town- I got sent to two different elementary schools, and then three different high schools before they finally just sent me to military school, when I was 16- I was there until I turned 17, and eventually I got kicked out."
"Of military school?" He asks, eyes wide.
"You heard the shit I did," I say, a small smile finding its way onto my face. "From there, I went to live with my grandfather... I was with him when it all started..." Murdoc nods, and I look up to him, meeting his big brown eyes, which watch me closely. "And that's it. That's my life."
"What was your grandfather like?" He asks, and I smile.
"He was... he was the only one who really gave a damn. He was on my dads side, and when he found out I got thrown into the academy, he was pissed. He visited me a few times, and was happy to take me home with him..." I shrug, and take the liberty of leaning my head onto his shoulder, and I'm happy I took off my dumb hat, because his warmth is comforting. "Tell me about you."
"Really?" He asks, sounding surprised.
"Yeah," I answer, nodding before glancing up at him. "I want to know about you... what you did before all this. How you ended up in military school," I say with a grin, elbowing him lightly.
"My story is a bit less interesting than yours, I'm afraid," he says, and I roll my eyes. "I was raised with a shitty, abusive alcoholic dad and a quiet mother until I was 11, when my mother ran off, then I went to military school when I was 15 to get away from it all. I was going to join the military, actually, but there were some complications, and I was going to stay another year. I was there when it all started. I barely made it out alive," he says, and I nod- it kind of explains why he's so protective, I bet he he got between his mother and father a lot growing up.
"I'm glad you did," I answer, and I can feel his smile as he rests his head on mine.
"Me too."