Fight for your life

Chapter Six

Three days later
Scouts Journal
It's been three days since we left the house. It was like the old days. We were happy. Comfortable. We had food. A decent water supply. Donnie even found some good pain killers in the top drawer of the lady's dresser. We got a dog. A real life dog. We should have left as soon as the terrible twenty-two attacked us.
It's a miracle no one got bit. There were so many of them. I still haven't stopped shaking. Donnie's still sick. It really fucked her up. All of us, really. Ricky nearly died, and now Murdoc won't leave her side. It's kind of annoying. She's my best friend, and I can't get a moment alone with her. She hasn't actually spoken much, though. Almost loosing us kinda fucked her up, too. And now, we're back on the road. We managed to grab all our personal shit, the dog stuff, and some food and water. The pills, too. Barrett nearly died for those. I kinda wish I had died. I take that back. If I had died, Ricky would probably be worse. And who would take care of Donnie? Guess I have to stay alive.

"I finished setting up the traps and alarms," Barrett says quietly. Scout looks up from her journal, sighing and replacing it in her bag, along with her sparkly pink pen. I return my gaze to the dying fire, letting the past few days sink in.
I should have made us all leave, the moment the twenty-something attacked.
These people around me, their lives are in my hands. They'll do anything I tell them. They'd probably all die for me, too. Hell, Murdoc nearly did. Now he's staying close to me, refusing to leave my side. He'd definitely die for me. Would I die for him? Yeah. I'd die for any of them. Maybe I should disappear. Murdoc could become the new leader. Maybe Scout. Just, not me. I'd be fine on my own. I'd leave them with my medical kit, and notes on how to do certain things, and they'd find a new leader. And I'll be on my own again. I begin to weigh my options. Being on my own always seemed like a better option- less food to find, and less to share, nobody to worry about when you have to go fast, less water to share, that kind of thing. But in a group, they've got your back. If you're surrounded, you've got a fighting chance, and you can cover more ground faster, too. And you don't notice when you were alone, but once I met Barrett and Murdoc, I realized how lonely I had really been. I'm not sure if I can go back to that. And if I did leave, I'm sure they'd all insist on finding me. And I'd never leave the group without someone on watch, and I can't exactly sneak past whoever on guard. The fire gives off a particularly loud crack, and I sigh, standing up. Murdoc and Scout both mimic me in silence.
"I'm gonna go for a walk," I say quietly, stepping over the fallen tree we were sitting on. They both go to follow me. "Alone," I add, grabbing my backpack. Murdoc frowns and sighs, sitting down.
"I don't think that's a g of idea right now, Ricky," Scout says, stepping forward.
"I'll be fine, guys. I've survived on my own before, and I'll only be a little while," I answer, continuing to walk. I'm carful to step over the traps and 'alarms', and after a moment Scout jogs over them too. "Scout..."
"What? I can't stop you from going, but you can't stop me either." She says, crossing her arms.
"Fine," I mutter, watching my step as carefully as I can in the dark, even though I might as well have my eyes closed. I take my knife from my belt, gripping it tightly despite not seeing any of the dead since the horde. Of course that doesn't mean anything.
After a few minutes of walking in silence, once we can't see the small fire anymore, Scout speaks. "You're not going to go off on your own, Ricky."
"I wasn't going t-"
"Yes you were," she says matter of factly. "Not now, but you were going to. Don't deny it, just," She pauses. "You're our leader, and friend, and we need you..." she sighs, shaking her head as I stay quiet. "Just don't go to far," she says finally, shaking her head and turning around. "Otherwise I'll send Murdoc to find you." She says before disappearing into the dark. I sigh and sit slowly, before hearing Scout says "Too late!" As Murdoc sits down next to me in silence.
We both stay in silence for a long moment, and I can just barely tell he's staring at me, more by the feeling of his gaze than his barely visible face. "Jones-" he starts, before pausing, his voice stern but soft. "Jones please don't go off on your own."
"Was it really that obvious?" I ask loudly, turning to him before realizing I can't actually see him.
"No," he says, and I imagine he's shaking his head. "Scout and I just know you." He says, reaching out and resting a hand on mine. "And we can't loose you... I can't," he says before sighing and closing his fingers around mine. I frown and pull my hand away slightly, looking away and standing.
"We should go back to camp," I say quickly, biting my lip.
"Jones-" he stands, and I see his arms reach out for me again before pausing and letting them drop. I turn away and start walking back towards the camp, before the familiar sound of cans clanging together reaches us. We both immediately run towards the camp, and as soon as the fire is back in view, we see someone stumble through it, catching fire quickly.