Guilty Pleasure Friends

Family

"So, Abel, where do we travel this time?"

Mikuni leaned back in his chair, unabashedly placing his feet on his desk, boots and all. The smile on his face was wide and cheerful as he held up the doll in his hands as if she was a real little girl who could answer his question.

Jeje wasn't fooled. He knew his employer well enough to tell the smile on his face was almost entirely fake. Mikuni wasn't nearly as happy as he'd like to make him believe. Something was bothering him, and he had a pretty good idea why. All that talk of going home everywhere had to get to someone who hadn't had a home in years.

"You could always go back," he remarked quietly, matter-of-factly. "Like you want to."

Mikuni blinked, caught off guard, his smile fading for a split second. Then the cheerful expression was back, the mask hiding his feelings renewed and stronger than ever. "What are you talking about?" he asked, laughing. "Don't be ridiculous, Jeje. Why would I want to go back to that place? I'm the one who left it in the first place, am I not?"

Liar, Jeje thought, but he really wasn't in the mood to argue with Mikuni of all people.

He half-hoped Mikuni would let it go, but no such luck. "Why do you even insist on going back so much, Jeje?" he asked with a devilish smirk. "Maybe you're the one who actually wants to go back? Are you homesick, Jeje?"

Jeje groaned inwardly. Why was he not surprised? "I'm not," he said.

"So that's it!" Mikuni continued, ignoring his response. "You're homesick, is that it? And that's why you're trying to tell me I'm the homesick one, hmm? Check and mate." He laughed. "I can't believe you thought I'd fall for tha–"

Jeje chucked a pencil at him that Mikuni narrowly dodged. "Shut up."

"What? Come on, no need to be so sensitive just because I exposed your secret!" Mikuni dodged another pencil, laughing again. Jeje only gave him a look, and Mikuni got serious again.

"Well," he said, "one way or another, there's no way I can go back with him returning to that place."

---

Kuro blinked, yawned, reached for his phone and looked at the time. It was early, not early enough to go back to sleep, but a little too early for him to wake up, unless it was by force. And yet he wasn't sleepy. In fact, he felt more rested than he'd been in a long time.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember what he'd dreamed last night. He couldn't recall, but it had been a good dream. Kuro couldn't remember a time where he'd had so many good dreams before. He had always hoped not to dream when he went to sleep because his dreams had always been bizarre at best, painful and terrifying at worst, leaving him lying awake in the dead of night, trembling and gasping for breath. But not now. These days he only dreamed of good things, even if he could never remember more than the warm fuzzy feeling.

He opened his eyes again, looking back on his phone screen. His gaze rested on the date. Just a few more days until summer break. He'd just have to make it through this weak...

And then he'd get to spend the entire summer with Mahiru.

Kuro almost caught himself smiling. He couldn't believe he was actually looking forward to summer break. He never had before. For him, summer break had been a time of being crammed together with yet another family that didn't want him for an entire month, or a time to get pushed away to the next foster family and have to get used to a new neighborhood, a new school, new people that all gave him the same cold, fearful eyes. Summer break had never been a time to enjoy and relax and look forward to. Up until now.

It wasn't that he was coming back to a place he knew. He had no idea where Mahiru's uncle lived, and the whole neighborhood would be unfamiliar to him. But at least he wouldn't be alone. He'd be with Mahiru, and that was the closest thing to being home he'd ever known.

He just hoped Mahiru's uncle really would say yes. He wondered what kind of person he was. Was he like Mahiru, simple, kind and pragmatic? Mahiru only ever said good things about him. Aside from the puns he'd mentioned. Oh well, Kuro could deal with puns. As long as Mahiru's uncle wouldn't look at him the way so many other adults had, he'd be fine.

Hopefully. Maybe.

He was nervous. He was so, so nervous. And happy. And overwhelmingly grateful. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve Mahiru's friendship and kindness, but deserved or not, he was so, so, so happy.

Please say yes, Mr. Uncle, he thought. Please say yes.

---

Kuro was back in his room after school when his phone lit up with a message from Mahiru. He said it's okay! We're good to go!! :D

He felt both relieved and nervous all at once. Relieved, because he wouldn't have to spend summer break all alone. Nervous, because he'd never been good with strangers. What if Mahiru's uncle ended up not liking him? What if Mahiru got in trouble for bringing him home for a whole month? What if–

Relax, he reminded himself. This guy was a stranger, but he was Mahiru's family. Mahiru had to have that kind, fearless nature from someone. And if that uncle really wasn't home most of the time because of work, how bad could it be?

He reached for his phone and typed in a reply. nice!

Kuro couldn't even recall the last time he'd used an exclamation mark in a text message.

---

Misono was sleepy. He was tired, so tired that every part of his body was screaming for rest, and yet he was wide awake, restless, frantic. He had barely slept since the night of the festival. Sendagaya's confession was still haunting him, chasing him, wherever he went, whatever he did. When he was awake he could think of nothing else. When he was asleep it followed him into his dreams. Nothing distracted him. Everything reminded him of that night, Sendagaya's words, his expression and his own inability to do anything.

His mind was spinning in circles. The more he thought about it the less certain he seemed to be on everything. Nothing made sense anymore. What should he reply? He didn't understand. What did he feel? He didn't understand. What should he do? He didn't understand. He didn't understand. He didn't understand!

He didn't understand anything, not Sendagaya, not himself. He didn't understand how he was supposed to act. He still couldn't talk to Sendagaya, couldn't even look at him without his heart skipping beats and his face flushing red and his mind going frantic, without the shame and panic rising within him and making him stutter an excuse and run away, as fast and far as he could. He tried not to look at Sendagaya's face as he did. He tried not to see his expression, hurt and disappointed every time he ran away, tried to pretend everything was fine and he wasn't breaking the heart of one of his best friends. This was fine. This was normal. He'd figure something out. He had to.

But it only got harder every time he thought about it, every time he spun it round and round in his mind. His feelings slipped through his grasp like drops of water. He didn't understand anything anymore. The only thing he understood was the confusion, the fear and puzzlement swirling around his head, chasing each other, chasing him.

And guilt.

Guilt over doing something like this to Sendagaya. Guilt over being so indecisive. Guilt over not knowing what to do, for being at a loss when he had always prided himself in being able to come up with a plan, a solution no matter what happened. Wasn't thinking supposed to be his strongest suit? Why was it that right now he felt more like it was getting in his way?

He didn't understand. He missed Sendagaya. But he feared talking to him more. He didn't know what to say to him, how to act around him. For the first time in his life he didn't want to solve a problem. He just wished it was gone, for better or for worse.

He clenched his fists. I'm so sorry, Sendagaya. I don't want all this any more than you do.