- party tattoos

look at the clock

The water went down on my head as I scrubbed my body with soap. The water usually felt nice of my skin but it just felt like nothing this time.

My brain is shitty, I know that. But sometimes I wish it would just give me a break. I was beginning to lose hope on ever feeling happy again which would really sink me.

I allow myself to feel every emotion but i always end up feeling it too much. It's like trying to fill a glass with a shaky hand. Either I don't get filled up enough or I overflow.

The water began getting colder and I shivered. I thought about how me staying in the shower this long is probably horrible for the environment but at this time I couldn't bring myself to care.

Impulsive. This is something I never let myself be. Always the stop and think type of person. Every decision needed to be thought out and planed.

Suddenly a thought crosses my mind. Why shouldn't I be impulsive?
Where has thinking things through got me?
I've probably missed so much due to my overthinking.

I've been depressed for so long and I barley eat or sleep anymore. What's even the point on being careful anymore? Being careful got me nothing.

I quickly shut off the water and put a towel around me.

I ran to my room finding a black dress that I've never worn because I always felt to self conscious and threw it on.

I then put on some dramatic makeup including sparkles and my favorite black lipstick.

Practically falling down the stairs, I grabbed my bag and a bottle.

Fuck it, I'm having fun tonight.