Stay Alive

Meet Him Inside

Allura led Keith back to his old room immediately afterwards. She was eager to help him, even going so far as to tease him about forgetting where his room was. He wanted to laugh aloud, but couldn't. He was still very tired from the battle and his subsequent crying fit. The fact that he let Allura get so close to him like that, after he'd tried to distance himself from everyone. Even now he was worried he was getting to close to everyone. But she knew about his confessions anyway, and she would try to assuage his fears no matter what he tried.

Pushing people away always seemed to be the logical or right thing to do. He'd suffered enough loss, from people who'd abandoned him, over his entire life, to get too close to anyone, aside from Shiro. What was to stop Allura from rejecting him? The Galra could do something even worse and cause her to remember that she hated them so much that she'd reject him in turn. He didn't feel like he could win with this team.

Team...

Anyway, he hated when people thought he was a loner. The correct term is "solitary", but if the description fit him, then it was good enough for him. It was better than someone just up and leaving him. That's why he moved into that stupid shack to be alone—solitary—after Shiro disappeared and the Garrison booted him out. He could live on his own. He knew he could. He wanted to be alone.

"Keith?"

He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice that he'd stopped in his tracks. So he was still surprised when Allura called his name.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked.

"I think so," he said.

They finally made it to Keith's old room. Allura stopped outside the door and waited for Keith to step inside. He didn't take very long to look around. It was still as empty as when he'd left, but now he felt the internal pang of regret, making him clutch his chest. "Are you sure you're alright?" Allura asked again.

"I think so," he repeated.

Allura didn't like his response. "You have to come up with a better response," she told him. "And maybe you should stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"That's not it," said Keith. "I just... don't like being here right now. What if everyone—"

"Everyone will be happy to see you," she interrupted. "We missed you." Her disapproving expression changed into a soft, warm smile. "I'm sure Shiro will be the happiest to see you."

That worked and Keith smiled. Shiro was Keith's real emotional anchor, Allura knew. "Go see them now," she said.

He shook his head. "I'm not ready yet."

"You can't keep running away," she told him. "You know as well as I do that they will also be an—oh, that's why." She sighed. She couldn't fix the universe in a few short months. What chance did she have to fix a human's issues? It was better if she just left well alone for the time being. Keith's issues weren't going to go away after a crying session and a hug from a woman. Allura already knew that, and she looked at him like she didn't want to be some kind of emotional crutch for him. That wasn't her job. She had more important things to worry about—freeing the universe from Zarkon's tyranny. As she said, she wasn't some magical healing fairy.

"Thanks," he said. "But I'll handle myself."

Allura sighed, nodded and left the room, leaving him behind. She took one more glimpse of him sitting down on the bed before the door closed. "Take a break, Keith," she called one last time. She sighed again for the like the 6,000th time. She hoped she wouldn't have to be the only one to put up with his issues. It wasn't like she didn't have her own.