chapter 6: Break down (part2)

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(Y/n)=your name
(B/f/n)= bestfriend's name
(F/c)=favourite cartoon
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(Y/n)'s POV

After 5 solid minutes of laughing and rolling on the floor, (b/f/n) and I finally decided to eat the pizza while watching our favourite cartoon, (f/c).

"Hey, I bet i can eat this pizza in 2 bites!" Said (b/f/n).
"Oh, I like to see that." I challenged her while leaning on the sofa to make myself comfortable.

(B/f/n) took a big bite for the first round and struggle to fit the second half pizza in her mouth. "Dude! You're gonna choke to death!. Spit it out!" I said while laughing at her/him. She/he shaked her/his head and struggle to swallow all of it.

What will I do without you, (b/f/n)?
You're always there to help me in my darkest day. (B/f/n) is the only person that I cared about. She/he protects me like I'm her/his little sister and I don't want to lose her.

"Hey (y/n)! I told you I can do it." (B/f/n) said breaking me away from my thoughts. I didn't even realize she/he can managed to swallow all of it.
"Yeah, but you nearly choked" I teased.

"Can I ask you something?" (B/f/n) said while looking at me straight in the eye. "I'm listening" I answered her/he, ugh this types of question scares me the most.
"I was wondering, Don't you get tired? Don't you get tired of running away? From your parents? Getting abused and bullied by that bitch Mandy? How can you pull it up together? If I were you to be honest, I would flip out".

Am I tired? Am I? I been running away for so long. Hiding my true feelings, afraid of people will judge me. Am I happy like this? No, I can't let anyone see I'm weak. I'm not weak!

"(Y/n)." (B/f/n) placed her/his hand on my shoulder. I didn't even realize she/he was on the sofa beside me now.
I look at her/him. My vision starts to get blurry and I can feel tears rolling down from my cheeks. (B/f/n)'s eyes widened when she/he saw my tears.

*SNAP*
Tell her/him the truth. You can't hide it forever, (y/n).

"Yes!" I yelled making (b/f/n) flinched a little. "I'm tired! I'm so damn tired! I'm tired to convince myself that everything will be alright! I know it's never going to be alright! But I keep on telling myself it's alright! I miss my brother! I don't want to get hit everyday! When can this all stop?! I'm tired seeing myself falling (b/f/n)! When will i stop falling?"

(B/f/n) just stared at me with her/his eyes wide open. I feel bad for yelling now, I never cry or yelled at her/him before. I look at her/him while cleaning my tears away from my face. Her/his eyes were full of sadness and regression.

I started to cover my face with the palm of my hands. Hiding my face away from (b/f/n).
(B/f/n) started to move closer to me and I can feel her/his hands wrapping around my left side body. "(Y/n), I'm really sorry for asking you this. It breaks my heart to see you in that forest everyday. Seeing you-"

"How did you know that?" I asked her/him.
"I saw you (y/n). It hurts me seeing my bestfriend to be in pain and hides it! I don't know how to comfort people very well but hugging helps. It calms the person down a little."

I thanked her/him for comforting me and continue to cry in her/his arms.

"Its okay. Let it all out (y/n), let it all out."

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