The Layover at Baltimore

Chapter 1

It was half past ten when she finally messaged me back. I spent all day at work contemplating on how I was going to tell her. I felt like a coward. We were friends for years and yet I've always found myself unable to tell her how I really felt. I felt even worse that when I finally summed up the words that I wanted to say to her. I sent them as a stupid text message.. Typical millennials, we are a highly advanced generation that is the bravest behind a touch screen. Any real man would've said it to her face, but i've sucked at that too.

          I've never been much of a manly man or a alpha male.  To be honest, I've had a hard enough time trying to convince my own shadow to follow me. Let alone being able to sum up the words to tell the girl of my dreams how in love I was with her. I was always at a loss for words whenever she was in my presence. I loved her and had loved her since the first day we met. I was a bumbling idiot getting my first cup of coffee before work and there she was. Gracefully standing behind me, patiently waiting for me to finish while I counted my quarters on the cashier desk. I was 10 cent short and that when she handed the cashier money. "You owe me next time." She said with a smile. I was so awe struck it took me a few seconds to respond. It's kind of funny how something so simple would lead to such a amazing friendship. A friendship i would value, but often wish it was something more.

About a hour went by and still no sign of a answer. I had sent her a paragraph message which I know she got. Her phone was rarely ever not in her hand. I wonder if she ignored it, or if she's going to pretend like she never even received it. She was a busy girl. That's part of the reason I fell for her. Time with her was pressed, but she always found time to see me and hang out. Even if it was only for a few minutes.

             It was half past eleven when I noticed my phone had finally flashed. Her name popped up and my anxiety immediately hit the roof. I refused to look. I couldn't. I kept thinking of how nicely she would say no and how devastated I would be. I definitely couldn't go through that here. I would look so pathetic and it would be way too embarrassing. I'll wait till I get home. Worst case, I can at least cuddle with a bottle of jack and cry myself to sleep.

I hurried to my car as fast as I possible could once my shift was over. Once inside, i turned the ignition and started the car,  pressed my foot down on the gas and drove as fast as I could. I gotta get home and I gotta get home fast. That's all I could think about. My phone flashed again. The red heart in the message caught my attention and I looked down at my screen,

I need you ❤️

My heart dropped. It's crazy how you never really know how much you wanted to hear something until you actually hear it. I waited five years to hear those words and now, looking at my screen, I'm speechless. In that moment, all I could think about was her and I wondered if she waited just as long to hear me say those words to her. My only regret is that I'll never get the chance to know the truth. That night, my car drifted into on coming traffic. I never even saw the tractor trailer. I just remember a loud horn, a blinding light, a loud crash and then everything went black. I guess that pretty much sums up my life. My life has been a series of sand castles and ice sculptures. Not literally, but in a sense that some really beautiful things tend to happen to me, but just when I was about to get close.. One wave and it was all gone...