My love, I m not perfect and will never be, but, our moments together are. If I could only pull back time...
June 10, 2013
Dear Diary,
It's the first day of my third year in taking Communication Arts. My day has been okay except from the fact that I once again felt the nausea like before. I've been keeping it at the back of my mind. I've been believing the lies I created that I am totally healed, yet, I can feel my body betraying me.
Zack on the other hand has been sharing his love for his God. Honestly, I feel irritated whenever he mentions that Jesus. When I was diagnosed, people said I just have to ask and He'll give it to me. Nonetheless the countless prayers I uttered when I was a child and suffering, did he hear me? No. They said He heals, am I healed? No. They said He has a heart for the needy, was he there when I needed him? No. I mean if he is really powerful, can't He just make me normal and pull me out from this pain? He's not a God, and if he really is, then He doesn't truly care.
Leigh
Then, I look up. "Are you for real Lord?" Once again I break down. "You know better than anyone else how many times I asked for your mercy to save her, but, you didn't listen!" I let my anger and agony filled my voice. This is just too much to bear. "I held tight on your promises that you'll never let us harm and that you have purpose on us, in spite of that, I witnessed Leigh cried and screamed because of pain. Are your Words true? Or you just deceived me?" there are lots of questions I want to ask him, but, I guess just like before, he is deaf to hear my weep.
