Reincarnate

Dark Passenger

Ryan's  POV

(Time Lapse 5 hours later, Concert time)

Credit: "Dark Passenger" - Motionless In White

"Somehow I will break and destroy you

And reveal what was hidden in plain view.

This disguise was designed

To deflect what I couldn't show you."

The way Chris sang, it was heartbreaking to hear how raspy and exhausted his voice is compared to the booming sounds he projected out from his lungs a couple years back before the kidnapping. Even on stage he wasn't his wild and energetic self, performing in a manner that would give anyone the impression that his bones are made of glass, so fragile and weak. His posture was also incredibly different as well. He refrained from being the feral beast on the stage who would unleash the demons from inside as they fueled his passion.  This is how it was before but look at him now. 

Though both Ricky and Chris were treated in hospital for seven straight months after but it was more than clear to see that he was still very damaged. He strenuously fought to hold back tidal waves of tears as the meaning filled words vacated his throat. For as long as I have known Chris, he was always a passionate person whenever he performed the vocals but what I saw was more than just passion. It wasn't at all a difficult to see that he truly believed the message that Motionless In White stood for but this charade was something dreadfully unique. 

The groups of close friends we invited to tag along were sucessful in to being able to convince Ricky and Chris to perform tonight but only minutes before leaving the tour bus, I feared that the show would have to be canceled. The promise the group came to an agreement made presented resulting in more of a bribe or blackmail vibe than a compromise. It was promised that both of them would be allowed to leave our constant surveillance over them for a while and so long as they had their cellphones on them, as they were allowed to could go where they pleased. But this was still a risky move. In fact, Devin and Ash were opposed to the "reward" we offered but the majority vote overruled their sincere doubts. If it wasn't for the part of the deal that Chris was instructed to stay with Ricky whenever they left, I would have voted in their favour fueled by their worry.

On the contrary, looking over at Ricky I was amazed at how phenomenally he was playing without any hesitations in his performance. I was primarily impressed for the reason that this is one of his first few times picking up his guitar again. And with the amount of people in the crowd, his concentration was optimal as if he never left, beginning right where we had left off. But similar to Chris, he wasn't as energetic as he used to be and dare I say, in pain? I didn't know weather it was an expression of severe focus for the task at hand or bearing through a hellish agony, doing his damndest to maintain himself. Either way, both of them didn't look okay at all and I even considered stopping the show to make sure they were up to par or if this was too much to grant them an intermission. I would completely understand if they had to quit but we were all hoping that this wound up being the one show that reanimated the life back into their tortured hearts.

But I held my tongue, keeping still in my position on stage adjacent to Devin on my far right and I continued playing on through the bridge of the song. I decided not to interrupt anything for the time being seeing that they haven't lost it yet but who knows how stable or unstable they were when facing such a crowd. But like I said, this was all very unpredictable and the rest of us had to stay alert for the worst.

Vinny began to start a rhythmic beat on his drumset as we began the first live performance of our new song, "Death March". Pounding to resemble a fast and unsteady heart rate, I played the beginning riff as I awaited the powerful chant as the introduction to the song.

"Death! March! Death! March!" Chris shouted from the top of his lungs to get the audience all worked up, producing the lively energy that hasn't been seen in a long time.

 Maybe he was going to be alright. After all, he's always shared during the interviews how he'd go to the music in a time of distress or depression. This could be the cure that he needed for so long and have been deprived of while in care. It made me smile a bit as I saw him more alive in his job, even from when the concert began but something was missing from our performance. Glancing over at Ricky I saw that he wasn't playing at all and had fell to his knees as he hugged his midsection tightly. I ceased on playing my part of the song, I set my guitar down on the stage with the system still on as I rushed over to aid Ricky.

One by one, each of us halted from playing on and only an anxious roar from the crowd was acting as our harmony to this stressful and scary situation on hand.

"Someone call 911!" I called out to the open air, hoping for someone to dial for help.

Vinny sped over to me as he kneeled adjacent to Ricky, shaking his head out of not only worry but a touch of guilt or was it anger? Whatever the feeling was, he didn't seem as surprised at the occurrence compared to the rest of us and that didn't help me feel any more hopeful about this. I was ready to break down in tears from having to bear witness to my beloved friend creating such horrific groans and moans from the horrible pain he was enduring. The noises he made were unlike anything I could ever imagine, some of them not sounding human. I only stayed by his side for a few minutes until I began to feel nauseous. This was all too gruesome to watch and I had to walk off stage to avert my eyes from having to lay eyes on the sight any longer but I could still hear his nightmarish cries from off stage. I was never known to be the softy of our group and in fact I was always taught to save my emotions for the pen and paper but this was one of the first times that I felt like not even the ink well of the pen could keep me sane and gentle tears would soon drip down on the blank slate of the notebook's canvas.