after the little birthday thing jayson left for awhile. the only reason I tell you this is because jayson and I have become good friends. but Jacob asked me something and I couldnt belive.
few weeks after my birth day*
Jacob: hey we need talk
me: uh ok
Jacob: um here.'all he did was hand me a note and walked off'
ok well maybe he didn't ask me but still!
note ' I no I should just ask you straight out and I no you say dont be scared and stuff but I am so here it is.
will you go out with me?'
I didn't belive it. I mean we knew each other sents we were in first grade.I couldn't I just couldn't but I didn't wanna make him sad. well I have loved him in the past but I stop waiting. but now I come to love jayson more than I loved anyone.
few days later*
"Jacob had ask me out. I had to tell him no. because I came to love jayson. shoudnt I be happy. I mean I don't want to make me sad and depress dating him but I don't want make him sad. I don't know what to! I feel bad for saying no"
there has been people talking around school about jayson likeing someone but won't tell any one who it is.
this makes me wonnder if I have a chance now with him. I have all this questions to ask me.
is it me?
dose he even like me more then a friend?
dose even want to be my friend?
is it even a girl?
yes the last one is a question I had because its possible. just because I'm close with him dose not mean I know his sexuality. I mean come on people. well actually I haven't asked him...
ever sents I said no to Jacob he hasn't been at school. but he came to school one last time so he can gather his things and belongs and left to his new town.
things didn't really change with Jacob gone. things went on like they normally did.
"I miss Jacob even though I belive he did not actually move. I think he moved schools because of me which makes me feel even worse then what I have before about saying no to him. oh how I could wish I could tell him why I said no. that I could just explain but his gone now at a different school or a different town I don't know."
so things caught up to were jayson left for awhile. so I ate alone at the table of punks. I mean as in I didn't talk to anyone. I also didn't know that jayson was gone at the time until he didn't come to school for a week.
I got home and texted him. yes I just then did it because he has a hard life at home so he can't always talk in the phone.
'hey did u move on me to'
'lol no ill be back around 2 days or so'
'ok lol'
