Short Fun Writing Challenge

Prompt #2

Dear Alexia,

I think it’s your smile. No, maybe it’s your eyes. No. It’s not that either. It might be the bounce in your step or the sass from your lips. Maybe its the way you bite your lip or the way you twirl your hair. I don’t know exactly what it was about you about that caught my eye...no wait, I do. It’s the way you help everyone and always want the best for your loved ones. You push yourself to be the best and won’t rest until you get what you deserve. You strive to be the best you can be and I love that about you. You have your flaws, you don’t like to be told twice to do anything. You hate it when people bring you down or try to bring you down. You can’t play nice with anyone you don’t like...no matter how important the situation is. (I’m talking about the Lauren fiasco). How did I end up with someone as beautiful as you? I know I’ve made my mistakes before but you stuck by me. Even when I gave up on us, you didn’t. Even when I had my doubts, you gave me faith. You held my hand as I learned to walk, and you fed me when I couldn’t. My hands are shaking as I write this letter and I know you’ll probably scold me for writing. But I have to, I can’t not write a letter.

We’ve been together for about 8 years and I’m a fool for not marrying you in the second year. You patiently waited for me to pop the question, and when I didn’t-you did. You asked me to marry you and I demanded to you to take the question the back so I could ask you. In the end, we both proposed to each other and got married that winter. We had a beautiful wedding and an amazing honeymoon.

So promise me that if anything happens, you’ll move on. You’ll find a way to let go of the sadness and find someone else. Because for me, I always want to see the twinkle in your eyes. The crinkles by your eyes when you smile. The bounce in your step and the hope in your mind. I want you to fill your heart with warmth and love, don’t ice it out with hate and bitterness. Learn to love again. But don’t forget my love.

If you ever feel like nobody loves you, know that I do. I love everything about you. From the birthmark on your upper right thigh to the scar on your right shoulder blade. I love that small burn on your wrist and the fact that your left hand is slightly bigger than your right hand. Don’t ever feel that nobody loves you. Because there is one guy who loves your flaws and insecurities. Who loves the way your eyes widen when you get jealous and the way your mouth twitches when you fight your urge to smile. Just so you know, it’s me. I love all these things about you, and one day someone else will too.

So keep dreaming my darling. Live, laugh and love. Because life’s to short to hold on to the past and life is a game, so don’t play it safe. Roll the dice and see where life takes you-because maybe, just maybe-it might take you to the right guy who will fall for you. To the guy who you’ll fall for.

You’ll stumble and fall, worry and crawl. But don’t let that hold you back. You have the entire world by your side. Plus me. You have the entire world by your side and me. I may not be there physically, but I will still be there. So be happy, because I hate seeing you cry.

We faced the world hand in hand and we fought the troubles back to back. We had our fights and problems, but in the end we always found our way back together. We are the opposites of the magnets. I’m north and you’re south. Always attracted to each other. And it’s true. You’re outgoing and I’m reserved. You’re brave and I’m scared. You are a great fighter and I am crippled. How can someone so good, so pure, be with me? A guy who doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong?

I know you don’t blame me for what has happened, but I blame myself. I shouldn’t have done it. I mean I know we weren’t together when it happened, but I should have been more careful. The outcome was worse than whatever happened. I should have known better, I mean, everyone warned me of the consequences. I was just too stupid to listen and now I’m paying the price.

I know that life has been hard and because of me we can’t do so many things. I’ll never get the joy of holding a tiny being in our hands. I will never get to hold his hand of feed him. I can never teach him how to ride his bike of fish. He’ll never have a father figure. Why? Because his father was stupid and reckless and didn’t know how severe the consequences were until they happened.

Please don’t hate me. I know my mistakes and I know I’m a fool. But don’t hate me. I hate myself for the both of us. Please Alexia. Don’t hate me. It’s my fault I know it is. It’s because of me that we can’t have a son or a daughter. It’s my fault. I’m writing this letter in case I’m not the rare survivor. In case I wasn’t a strong enough fighter, know that I love you. My love for you is as deep as the sea, as wide as the universe, as bright as the sun and as infinite as the stars. I love you my dear, I love you so very much. Don’t think I don’t just because I’m leaving you. I love you and I hope that you love me. You have put up with me through it all. You are willing to give up your needs just so we can be safe. I’m sorry for that. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t fight it off and survive. I’m sorry for having the most common disease throughout the world.

            I love you,

                Jacob

Tears streamed down my face as I re-read that letter for the millionth time.

“Mommy?” A little boy waddled into the room.

“Yes Jacob?” I asked as I wiped away the tears quickly, making sure that my five year old son doesn’t see my tears.

“Come on let’s go play!” Jacob tugs my arm and I smile.

“Let’s go. I am going to get a snack really quickly. You go set up the game you want to play.” I tell him as I stand up. Jacob nods and runs out of the room. I fold up the letter and place it in the top drawer underneath my first wedding ring.

“Alexia? Are you crying?” I turn to see David, my husband of four years, standing at the door.

“No, I was just-yeah. I was,” I sigh in defeat and David walks closer to me.

“Don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset, darling. What’s wrong?” David cups my face and looks into my eyes, trying to see if he can find out what’s making me this upset.

“Nothing…I just read...the letter,” I mumble as I glance at the floor.

“Baby, don’t feel bad. I don’t hate you for still loving him. I can never expect you to stop. I’m just happy that you are willing to share your love with me. You are an amazing woman. He would be so proud of you. You have an amazing son and you are a brilliant research scientist, so stop feeling bad.”

“Jacob would’ve been proud of our son,” I whisper and David smiles. He tilts my head and he places a quick kiss on my forehead.

“He would have been proud of you as well. Trying to find a cure for AIDS is amazing. I don’t know many people doing that.” David tells me as he backs out of the room.

“MOMMY! COME ON!” Jacob screams from the other room and I quickly walk our of the room.

“I’m coming sweetie.” I reply to him as I push open the door to the game room. I see Jacob setting up the game to Connect Four and I can’t but help smile. Jacob, my first husband, loved that game and I got Jacob, my son, addicted to it as well.

“I’m red, Mommy!” Jacob declares and I chuckle.

“Okay honey.” I sit down, across from him. I push his black hair to the side and smile as he sorts the colors. My mind flashes to the letter sitting in my drawer. You’d be so proud of him. I miss you Jacob, I love you. And I do. Just because I remarried doesn’t mean I don’t love him. My first husband died of the most horrific disease and I don’t want any other family to go through it. I will find a cure and one day the world will be rid of AIDS.