Lily packed away her notes from the prefects meeting and thanked everyone for coming as they slowly drifted out of the room. James was the only one still sitting at his desk, making a few final notes before capping his ink. She looped her book bag over her shoulder and waited for him to pack away. He seemed distracted, not looking up at her as she lingered by his desk.
"You wanna hang out with me tonight?"
He glanced up at her briefly as he stuffed his notes into his satchel. "Can't sorry. You heard Pierce knackered his arm yesterday, didn't you?"
"Yeah, how's he doing?"
"Not good," he replied, throwing the bag over his shoulder and preceding her out into the hallway. "I gotta throw the Quaffle at the reserve; make sure he's up for next weeks match. Rotten bugger hasn't been showing up for regular practice."
"Will it take long?"
He shrugged, checking his watch. "An hour or two maybe, I'm gonna try and get some dinner first. See you around."
"Oh... see you then," Lily replied weakly as he sped off down a flight of stairs, waving over his shoulder. She stopped short in the middle of the busy corridor wondering what to do with herself. Dorcas and Emmeline had gone to library to finish up an assignment that Lily had already completed last week, and if she knew those girls at all then they wouldn't be back until Madame Pince threw them out at closing time.
She had been looking forward to spending some time with James, just playing chess or lounging around in the common room to chat, but his schedule was busier than hers with his additional Quidditch responsibilities. She wasn't very hungry either, having grabbed dinner with the girls before the meeting so she couldn't even waste time by eating. In the end she decided she would take a slow walk down to the Quidditch pitch and watch the practice. At least that way she could catch James if they finished early.
She was feeling anxious about Friday night and not because she was expected to kiss someone in front of a hundred people. She was honestly beginning to wonder if she was doing the right thing. She had seen John kissing Judy a month ago, he had given her his ring, and she had spotted them together many times since, but something just wasn't right.
After her birthday she had begun to notice how little he seemed to appreciate her; he only seemed to want to know her when he was after a date for sex. But ever since she'd told him to back off he'd done a complete turn around and was back to the old John – the one that she'd wanted to sleep with in the first place. She wasn't too sure if she could really trust him ever again, in fact she knew she couldn't. Once a cheater, always a cheater – that's what Dorcas said – and Lily wouldn't take John back for all the world. But at the same time he seemed genuine about wanting to make their relationship work – he wanted her to meet his parents!
Lily couldn't help but think that there was something deeper going on that she didn't understand. Perhaps he didn't know he was cheating, if that was at all possible. Perhaps, in his mind, it was okay to string along two girls at the same time – not that it would ever be acceptable in Lily's eyes of course. But she couldn't shake off the feeling that maybe John really cared about her, and if she went ahead and kissed James at the party, then John would be completely heart broken. Of course, that had always been the point, but was the punishment too severe considering his state of mind?
It was cool outside and she was glad to have worn an extra shirt under her robes that day as she made her way past the changing rooms, along the path toward the pitch. She'd brought her Charms text with her to read because she wasn't sure how exciting watching a Quidditch practice could be – but she didn't think she'd find the time for it with all that was running through her mind right now. All she really knew was that it was too late to call off the deal with James – he and Sirius had probably already spent the forty galleons on alcohol for the party – and it wasn't fair to let the girls throw away their share of the money when this had been all their idea to begin with. But there was nothing she could do to stop her from feeling utterly sick about the whole thing.
