- Kamryn
as i was sitting on the couch with him laying on my chest i thought about alot of things . Should i have another or now or should i wait awhile . Hes my everything and im glad i have him here with me now . He then woke up and started to move around . I got up with him on my hip and went to the kitchen and looked for something to fed him . He has curly hair , chubby cheeks , eyes and lips like his daddy , and everything else is me . Hes the cutest baby ever . Everytime i look at him i think about his daddy . He was born January 20 , 2014 . Hes only 4 months old so he doesnt do much . I fed him then gave him a bath and put his clothes on . After that i got myself cleaned up . I drove him to his godmothers house Nicki . Shes always willing to keep him whenever i needed him to be babysat. But sometimes she cant cause she has a career of her own too. Shes Nicki Minaj so of course shes gonna be busy but since today she wasnt doing anything and today was a special day for me she took him in . After i dropped him off i got in my car and started driving. Things lately have been crazy . Chubbs been in jail for 2 months now and wont be getting out until October . I drove to the court house and waited with the rest of the crew . 15 minutes later Aubs and his Lawyer walked in . I wasnt paying no attention cause i've been having all these thoughts in my head . " what if he doesnt come home ? " ," what if hes gone forever ? " ," whos gonna be there to take care of me ? ". All these thoughts had my heart beating faster and faster. But then i heard something i thought i'd never here in my life . Something that tore me to peices was when the judge told him " 2 years in Jail ".... I started feeling the tears in swell up in my eyes and they soon started falling from my eyes . When he got up before he left he looked at me and i looked at him . He told me " I Love You ". I told him " I Love You Too" , and with that he walked out and he was gone like that . That was the last time i was gonna see until 2017 . I left without saying anything to anybody . When i walked outside i almost blinded with the flashing lights and thousands of questions being thrown at me . My bodygaurds where trying their best to keep me safe and once i got to the car i speed off in tears . The image of him stayed in my mind . He looked really buff , his hair has grown out and he looked a lil darker . What am i gonna do with myself . I never thought that for now on hes gonna have to see his some through a glass window or how hes gonna miss his first birthday , his first words and his first time walking . I guess i gotta stay strong and keep my head for Aubrey . Now i gotta put the wedding planes on hold .I never thought this day would come .. Ever....
