It's been a week since we killed Jadyn. There's cops posted everywhere. They're questioning everyone. The only good news is I haven't been called down to the office and grilled like cheese by the Principal.
Weird things keep happening to me. Not just me, everyone. Everyone who was there that night. I can't seem to sleep at night. I've been taking meds to finally fall asleep. I don't want to eat even though I'm always hungry. When i do eat, i just throw it up. It's almost like my body's rejecting it. I think it's the guilt living within me. It's eating me alive from the inside out. I keep picturing it in my head. It's almost like an out of body experience. I can see myself bending over, drinking the blood off of the floor. My face moist with blood. I can see it as if I'm standing next to myself. The scene keeps playing over and over again in my head.
Jonah hasn't said a word to any of us since that night. In fact, he hasn't even been in class. Sure, we're all super emo, but he's never missed a day of school. None of us have. He isn't answering his phone or posting on his tumblr, which is weird. He posts something cringy every hour on the hour no matter what. I'm beginning to worry about my dark, emo Prince. Could his guilt be so deep that he can't bare to show himself in public?
* * *
I arrive at Jonah's house immediately after school. I sprint to the door like a gazelle being chased by a lion and knock on the door. I hear a shuffling for a hot minute and then silence. I knock again even harder than before. I'm full of rage. Why won't Daddy answer the door? He should know it's me knocking. Who else would it be? I knock until my hand goes numb. Finally he answers.
¨Why are you here?¨
¨We were worried. We are all so worried. I was so worried about you. You haven't been at school or answering your phone or even posting on your tumblr. What were we supposed to -¨
He pulls me inside swiftly, taking my breath away. The tension is so great between us. He's got this crazy look in his eyes. It's driving me wild.
¨It's too bright outside. It hurts my eyes.¨
¨Are you drunk? Whats going on with you, Jonah? I've been worried sick. You look terrible.¨
¨Wow. You're so sweet. I dont know whats wrong with me. I haven't been sleeping or eating. I feel sick but i'm not running a fever. Im freezing. When I try to eat, I just get sick. The light hurts so bad. I don't understand. ¨
Could he be telling the truth? How could he be experiencing the same things as I am? Except for the light thing. Why does it ale him so much to be in the light?
¨Have you been to the doctor?¨
¨And tell them what? Hey by the way i performed a ritual sacrifice and now i'm extremely sick and i can't sleep or be in the light. Yeah. That'll get me locked up in the looney bin pretty quickly.¨
¨You don't have to be so sassy all the time.¨
¨And you don't have to be so salty all the time.¨
I have forgotten its clapback season.
¨Maybe a doctor could help? You don't have to tell them all the details, just vague symptoms. Do you know any experts maybe? This can't be the first time this has happened."
¨I dont know. Maybe I should ask around. Someone has to know something. I dont want to jump to conclusions and take the chance of being taken away.¨
¨Maybe we should have a meeting.¨
¨Are you crazy?¨
¨Crazy about you, Daddy.¨
¨What?¨
¨What?¨
¨Anyways..... Thatd be crazy and damn near impossible with all these cherries and berries crawling around. We could be caught. I cant go to prison. Im too clumsy and id drop the soap way too often. Not on purpose though.... Thatd be kinda.... Gay. "
"Okay? No one said you were."
"I know. Just saying. So dont be saying shit. Or else you'll be like Jadyn."
"Okay. Geez I didn't even -"
"Anyways! I just don't think its a good idea."
"We need to do something. We can't let them think we're falling apart. We are still a cult. A family, remember?" I grab his arm to make sure he's feeling what I'm feeling.
"You're right. Start alerting the members. We need to meet and discuss our next move. You're right. We're a family."
He gives me a smile. A real one. I can feel he meant it. He's scared. It's understandable. I've never seen this side of him. It's new. It's nice.
* * *
We all file into Jonah's basement, shuffling one after the other. It's quite dark down in the basement. It's darker than usual. We all find seats in chairs, on couches or the floor. Wherever we can fit. Our members continue to grow. The basement is packed with veteran members along with the new ones. Normally I'd be ecstatic about this, but with everything going on it makes me a little suspicious.
I look from face to face trying to read into to all their expressions. Who is really wanting to be apart of our cult and who's a rat? Some look more emo than others. This begs the question whether they're really that emo or if they're trying too hard. That's when the idea comes to me.
"Caleb. I have an idea."
"Let's hear it."
"There's so many people and i feel we need to make certain they're here for the cult purposes and not their own ulterior motives. So let's play a game."
"I'm in"
* * *
"Alright everyone. Listen up. We're going to start this meeting with a little ice breaker. There's so many new faces and we'd like to learn more about you. For our first question I ask: What is your favorite screamo band?"
The answers range from Black Veil Brides to Asking Alexandria. Then, we come to a pale ginger who looks over the top with emo. His image just screams Rawr XD.
"My favorite screamo band?" he asks.
"Yes."
He thinks for a hot minute before he finally answers.
"My favorite screamo band would have to be... uh... Big Time Rush?"
The room goes quiet.
