"Peter, have you heard from Oli this morning?" The voice of my lovely sparkling wife rings out from across the pancake coated breakfast table.
With one smooth move, my phone is out of my back pocket and in front of me, "nope" I reply as my notifications bar is empty, "maybe they stayed up too late and are not awake yet!" I suggest to her.
She pulls her adorable thinking face and then shrugs a 'fair enough' shrug before scooping another blissful forkful of maple syrup coated pancakes into her mouth and sighing with delight. She smiles back at me, all evidence of the depression she had suffered previously in her life gone.
"I'm gonna text Betty still though, Oli usually wakes up at 8 ish" She whips out her phone too and types furiously for a minute before chucking her phone behind her onto our red cotton polyester sofa coated in Union Jack pillows.
I finish my pancakes, still thinking about my precious little girl and trying to bury that small feeling something is wrong. A glorious ten minutes later, the pancakes are finished, plates away and pan washed up while my wife and I sit on the sofa together to enjoy a bit of Sunday television.
As the cheerie voices of 'Homes under the Hammer' ring out Olive's phone beeps to alert us to a message from her best friend. She casually places her tea on the table and picks it up gently before her eyes scan side to side precariously. She then sits up fully, her eyes wider and mouth drooping slightly. "Peter", she practically shouts my name, "Oli isn't at Betty's, she thought Bert was here!" She reads quickly and then shoves her phone in my face "LOOK!" Her face full of panic, she looks at my face all over for an answer as to where our daughter has gone.
"I-I'm sure she is at Alsh or Ruble's house, they're friends too right?" I reply, not so sure. My daughter is friends with them but neither her nor Bert are really keen on them, so why would they be there?!?
Olive looks at me again with her deep blue innocent eyes as if she wants to say something but is interrupted by a loud friendly ring tone which attracts her finger to it like a magnet.
"Hello, oh hi Betty. Yeah, I thought Oli said she was coming to your house for the night. What? No, no Bert isn't here. Errr.. Yeah yeah, come round in 20 minutes with Amy and Roberta too, thanks, Bets. Ok byeeee mwah"
She turns to me, her eyes now overcome with complete hysteria. She has no idea what to do, her usual chatty self has now become completely speechless. "What happened?" I try and get her to talk because if she talks it will calm me.
"Basically Betty said that Bert said she was coming here for the night and the fact is that Oli said the exact same thing about their house, so where are our daughters?? Also, she said she would contact Alsh and Ruble's parents and they would come here in twenty minutes to figure out what the f*ck is happening. I just want my daughter, i crave having her around!"
She then inhales after talking with no break, obviously in full panic mode.
I have seen her have panic attacks before and i know first hand how it goes 0 to 100 real quick. I must do something before it goes full swing.
A single tear falls from her left eye and rolls innocently down to where i wipe it away. "It will be alright ok, say it will be alright" I urge her and she repeats still shaking slightly.
"Breathe ok, in... out....in...."
She shuts her eyes and looks a bit more relaxed, i sigh relieved.
She gets up and walks out to get changed quickly so i sit back on the sofa. What will happen if my daughter is not safe? Where is she? What happens if she is not alive? What about Olive? Will she go depressed again, I don't want to repeat what i had to get her through again. I realise I am breathing faster and faster. No. NO no no. I will not let Olive see me like this, I must hold it together for her to hold it together, I can't let depression take a hold of her again. I grab her lukewarm tea and swig it down, feeling calmed by its milky warmth. I release a small snort. "I am so British," I say smiling.
She runs back into the room with her hair slightly less messy and a tiny bit of makeup applied. She realises it will be a hard day so is in a pretty dress coated in a fluffy hoodie pulled over her head in a self-conscious way. Relatable.
Her hand reaches out to her mug and brings it to her mouth before realising it is empty and looking confused. I pull a cheeky smile to stop her going crazy over when she drank it, she looks at me in an 'i'm done' way before continuing her pace around the kitchen.
I am dressed in a shirt, jeans and also a hoodie. Afterall, it is raining outside so we have to keep warm.
"Ok, we can do it, just find Oli at someone else's house and bring her home safe and sound" At this point in time i am no longer sure if she is talking to herself or to me. I take on the advice and reassurance anyway.
She now calmly looks up at the window and announces like a child excited about the weather "Oooh it's raining!" followed by a slightly more depressed "the drops falling down is like my self-esteem." She sighs and opens her mouth to speak thoughtfully but is interrupted by the doorbell.
She wanders over to it and swings it open slowly. My dear Alice lets in my daughters 2 friends, their parents and the parents of my daughter's friend. But no daughter. And no best friend with her.
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Just to say, this chapter is not mocking depression or mental illnesses it is very serious and horrible, I fully relate and support anyone with them. I am sorry if you are going through them and if you need support:
-Message me (DM)
- https://kooth.com/ which is a great website for online counsellors (I have one and it's helpful)
- https://www.childline.org.uk/ also great website if you need help :)
People will always miss and love you x
YOU ARE READING
Candle Lit
ParanormalA game of dares between isolated friends leads to two of them entering a bordered up, old, abandoned house. Will something go wrong??? If so, will anyone notice them??? Is their friend really their friend??? Read Candle Lit to find out.....
