Horan Paradise { Niall Horan Fanfic...ON HOLD}

Time

*FOUR YEARS LATER*

Phoebe's POV~

I looked at my brother and hugged him tight"how was the honeymoon?" Ethan and Devon got married last month and they just traveled around. I was happy for my brother and former coach. He smiled at me"it was great, how are you?" I shrugged"I'm alright." Ethan kissed Devon's cheek before he excused himself. Devon turned to me"have you heard from Niall?" I stared at her.

When Niall and I left that hospital four years ago, I didn't hear from him for weeks. I nearly died and lost my arm, but God was looking out for me like he did back on that island. The doctors were able to save it despite the infection to it. When we got back to the states, the media would not leave me alone and it was overwhelming. I tried to go back to school, but I was always followed and not just by paparazzi wanting to get information about mine and Niall's relationship: some of Niall's fans blamed me for what happened to him.

Not so long after I got home, Ethan checked me into rehab. Life at home was not the same. Ethan and Devon took care of me while my arm healed. I was sleeping one night and woke up to pain in the arm, Ethan took me and it turns out that the arm wasn't healing like it should've been and it got infected to the point where I did end up having it amputated. I felt so helpless once I got home and fell into depression. I stayed in my room, I stopped going to my classes, I stopped talking to my friends and the girls on the team, I stopped eating...I stopped everything. I hated myself and I felt that god was punishing me. I hated the way that I looked, I thought that maybe it was why Niall stopped talking to me. What little food I ate when Ethan was around would later be thrown up in the toilet. Ethan found me passed out once from mixing my sleeping and pain meds with alcohol. I got lucky but then the next week he found me passed out from drinking too much and it would be something similar the weeks that followed. I didn't want to live.

When Ethan took me to the rehabilitation center, I had a full out fit. I slapped my brother and cursed him out before I was taken to my room. They left me alone, I didn't eat the food that they brought me and I didn't make any efforts to accept their help. One day Ethan came to see me and he was mad at me, but I zoned him out and my brother CRIED which woke me up. Everything hit me at that moment. I told Ethan that I was going to stop and actually give the place a chance. I sat with a therapist and at first I didn't want to talk, but she was able to get me to open up. I struggled with my depression and eating disorders. I kept a journal and I'd cry myself to sleep, not understanding how I let things get here. Besides Niall, I really missed being on the volleyball court. Losing my arm and not being able to play volleyball made me angry, but I had to get over it.

I spent almost a year in the rehab center then went back to school. Seeing how much it meant to me, Devon gave me a position to coach one of her volleyball teams and after talking to my doctor, I accepted it and it's been amazing. At first the girls pitied me and did not know how to act around me, but it was just about volleyball to me and they saw that. I missed the feeling of tossing the ball up and serving, it wasn't the same as having someone else toss it for me but it was better than nothing. My friends were there to welcome me my first day despite the fact that I didn't want to see them when they came to see me.

So back to Niall. Him and the guys came to see me once, but that was it. I still followed their music and was happy for Niall that he was doing what he loved again. I'm not sure if we ever broke up, but I still love him. It would sting when I'd hear news about him with a girl, but he deserves to be happy. I was happy that he was able to find success as a solo artist.

I picked at the rip in my pants"no, haven't heard him from since that day back in rehab." Devon gave me a small smile"you should go to his concert; he's coming to town next week." My eyes widened"I don't know, Dev." She got up and wrapped her arms around me"well think about it, okay?" I nodded just to make her shut up. It didn't sound like a bad idea, but I don't know.

Devon pulled my arm as we neared the doors"I only have one good arm and you're gonna make me lose it, Dev!" She turned around and covered my mouth"we're trying to be sneaky here, so hush!" Devon dragged me on her mission to sneak backstage so I can talk to Niall and make him "fall back in love with me and so I can get laid again" according to Devon. Her and Ethan worry too much about my love life. Part of me wanted to smile when I saw security standing there by the door with Niall's name on it, praying that he would tell us to go back to our seats.

Devon pulled something out of her bag"thank the lord for backstage passes." She smirked when she saw my face. The door opened and I felt my breath hitch when I saw him walk out and we made eye contact. He froze in his tracks and we just stared at each other. I swear he was even more handsome up close. I felt my heart racing when he smiled at me, it felt like we were back on that island again; just the two of us. Before I knew it, he was hugging me.

I waited for Niall after the show like I had promised him, Devon not so far away from me in his dressing room. The door opened and when Niall walked in, Devon left"I told Ethan that I'd call him, I'll be back." I shook my head knowing that she was just going to listen outside the door. He sat down next to me and we sat there in silence for a few minutes"you look beautiful." I felt my cheeks heat up"thank you, you were amazing." I saw the color on his cheeks"thank you." It was quiet again.

He cleared his throat"I'm glad you're smiling again, Phebs. Ethan and I talk about you and I really am glad that you're better." I stared at him in shock"so you've been talking to my brother for the past four years but I haven't heard anything from you...wow and I thought you loved me, guess it was just the island talking." I saw the hurt on his face"who said that I don't still love you?" I stood up"don't lie to me, Niall. The only time I ever heard from you was that day at the center and that was it." He stood up"because I thought you didn't want to be with me and blamed me for what happened! Hell, I do." He sat back down"you were on my lap and I didn't notice that you were unconscious for two hours, TWO hours. Ethan told me about everything else and I wanted to go to you but he told me that I might make it worse and then it did anyways. You didn't even want to see me when I went to visit you. Talking to your brother is the only connection that I had to you." I let his words sink in.