last words [l.t]

chapter 2

\\meg wrote susan's chapter, susan edited what was supposed to be her chapter//

>> l o u i s <<

I carefully dug threw her backpack like a mad man wanting nothing less but to see what she had got me. At the very bottom I noticed her over sized black sweater which still smelt like her all the way from here. The smell of her was comforting even if she was lying right next to me. Her smell, which smells like wood and pine with a light dash of lavender, brings back so many good memories it's not even funny anymore.

Glancing around the room to make sure no one was here I slipped on her sweater which surprisingly fit me nicely. Being the weak and fragile person I am at the moment I let a few tears slip out as the memories of her in this sweater came flooding back like a tidal wave.

I remember how she would always wear it on our lazy days when I just got home from tour, how she would always hug me from behind in the mornings with this on, or how she would greet me at the airport. It was all to much, so I had to take a moment and burry my face in the sleeve taking in her smell while I cried to good memories until they slowly faded away.

Sniffling I wiped my extra tears away and with my shaking hands I reached in the bag again and brought out this time a box with a sticky note that had simply 'Louis' written in her hand writing on top. Quickly I stuck the sticky note on my chest like it was a name tag and then slowly opened the lid. What was in it surprised me. It was a simple red notebook with a red heart in the middle with a mechanical pencil lying next to it.

Raising the notebook up and out of the box I feel the scaly leather of the book drifting off into space for two fine minutes before I snap out of my daze and decide to open it up. My heart skips a beat and my breath hitches in my throat at the sight of her wonderful handwriting again. I hold back the tears telling myself that I have cried enough today as I start to read the note that she left me.

Louis,

I know that you don't write much, but since I don't have enough money right now this was all that I could do. I really hope you like it. Writing down in a notebook always helped me when I was stressed or I just wanted to remember something. Anyway I want you to know that I truly love you and this one year has been most likely the best one ever. Okay so this note was planed to be short but like you know I can never keep anything short, so I'll just cut off by saying this. I love you till heaven and please try in some way to use the notebook even if you just want to doodle that's fine with me.

Love you to heaven and back,

Em xoxo

That's when I did it, that's when a little piece of my heart broke off, that's when I became numb. and that's when I decided to write just like she told me to in here. I was going to write down everything that I was feeling and thinking right now and make it like a letter to her.

I grabbed the pencil and turned to the next blank page. Finally after a lot of mental debate my pencil found the page and I started writing in the hospital, beside the love of my life, and in her sweater.

Day One

Dear Em,

First off let me say that I'm so sorry for everything that happened yesterday. I know how you hate when I take the blame for everything, but this time I know that it's my fault. If I would have just listened to you and turned back to get your phone we would have been safe, more importantly you would've been safe. But no, I had to be the big headed idiot that I always am and had to fight about it with you. I always say that I let you win our little silly fights just to see you smile, but not this time and to tell you the truth I absolutely hate myself for it and I'm painfully sorry for that. I'm sorry for being a big headed idiot yesterday.

So I guess I was a little bit nervous (okay I was more then a little bit but you get the point), but that doesn't excuse me from what I did. Baby girl you want to know why I was so nervous yesterday? Well you deserve to know anyway. I was going to propose to you at the football field where we first met and had our date. Remember the picnic I took you on there? That was one of the best day of my life. You said that I made you happier then anybody else every could when we were watching the stars and right then I knew that you were something special.

Anyway back to the present day. Which is today aka the day after the crash. If you want to know if I'm hurt or whatever, I'm not. I'm just wearing a pair of extremely ripped jeans. But I am emotionally in pain. I really want you to wake up Em I couldn't handle not hearing your angelic voice one last time. I want to feel your kiss on my lips one last time, feel your hug one last time, and hear and see you laugh at something awkward at least once more.

Baby girl I just want to see, hear, and feel you before you go up and become an angle. I've always knew that God sent you down as my guardian angel, but I don't want him to take you away from me just yet.

Love you to heaven and back,

Louis xoxo

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a/n

Hey guys so I know this is a early update but I just had to get it down on paper before it slipped my mind! I hoped you liked it! I really love writing this book I LOVE IT! ANYways... I put a 99 Days With Out You spin on it so all thanks and credit goes to that wonderfully sad book!

Love ya guys!,

meg and susan

P.s.: I (meg) wrote chapter one too! Just saying!