Somebody, Wake me

Five

"Hey what happened ? Why did you try to kill yourself?" The voice asked. I looked around as the place continued to become so dark which made it difficult for me to concentrate on his words. "What?!" I called out as the voice faded once again. I felt my chest tighten and my lungs felt like they were getting filled with water. I was getting consumed by darkness once again. The light I had seen earlier had completely vanished and I was left to be alone and cold once again just like before. I had become accustomed to it now.

The hours past and I could feel myself waking up again, this time when I woke my face was now close to Yongguk, he looked so peaceful asleep, I tried to get up but couldn't as his grip was firm. I looked around seeing some one had moved next to me. I couldn't make out the figure as I moved my head up I saw all the members were around us. Some one had moved to the couch where we were and was snoring. Another was by my feet, and so forth. I sighed and laid back down snuggling into the blanket with Yongguk. He pulled me closer until I felt the person behind me move in as well.

Morning had come and I woke up to the smell of food, my stomach began to growl really loudly but I couldn't eat, no I mustn't "Morning, food is ready if you're hungry" Yongguk said with a huge grin as the members were eating as well and watched me sit up. All but one was at the table, Junhong sat up rubbing his eyes "morning zelo " Himchan called out to him "hello, ooh what smells good?" He asked as he sat up and I looked over to him and realized he was the one who was beside me. "Yah come on help Nana up and come eat " Youngjae called out. I looked around and stood up "may I use your bathroom?" I said as they pointed towards the direction it was located.

Once I was in the bathroom I washed my face and saw how puffy my eyes were now. I wish the stylist was here sadly there wasn't anything I could do to get them back to normal. Not to mention the fact that I looked dead right now with out anything, I really did let myself go. My stomach growled and I held onto the counter of the bathroom as I was so desperately hungry but I couldn't allow myself. If I did I would binge eat and then they would become disgusted. I sighed and walked out covering my face with the hoodie again hoping they wouldn't notice. Yongguk of course was the first one to see but said nothing. "Hey why is your hood up?" Daehyun asked, "oh just feeling cold" I lied. Yongguk severed my plate and smiled "they prepared it especially for you enjoy" he said as he walked to his seat. I stared at the meal for about 5 minutes as my stomach growled. I was so hungry I was about to cry due to how much I was starving myself to stop from binge eating. Eventually I caved in and began to eat. They sighed in relief thinking that I didn't like the food.

"Whenever you are ready we can go home " Yongguk said "oh right yeah" I said softly. I didn't want to go home to the solitude I was confiding in, but of course I didn't want them to know "you're clothes are dry so once you're done eating you can change in them " Himchan said with a smile. I nodded and finished eating and bowed thanking them for the food making my way out to the room to change. It felt too sudden, I didn't want to leaver, I know I had only met them but Yongguk kept me safe and the fact I was going to leave and be alone made me want to cry.

Meanwhile....... "hyung you like her don't you?" Jongup asked as Yongguk stared "no, she just reminds me of myself when I was going through that." He said. Junhong looked at his member and spoke up "Would it be okay if I tied then ?" He asked shyly, the members were shocked at what the youngest had asked, "yeah why ask me though " Yongguk laughed as he looked at him. The members stared at their leader in a serious matter. "What?" He asked confused, the only proceeded to stare at him "what?" He asked sternly sitting up. "Hyung. We've been witnessing things and well...." Youngjae trailed off. "We just witness how much you've cared for her. Even in your sleep if she makes a sudden sound you're to her aid. Are you sure there isn't anything there ?" Himchan asked.

I had walked out of the room and stopped mid-tracks as I listened to them speak about me. What were they saying ? Were they laughing at me? I leaned in more to listen, "I just care. I went through that and in a grown man. I'm just worried okay " Yongguk said. "So if she were to come here crying like that you wouldn't over react and go to her aid ?" Daehyun questioned "I don't over react- and I I'd just try to remind her to breathe." He said. I felt a slight sting in my chest but shook off the feeling and listened more "so you wouldn't mind if one of us made her cry and have Zelo go to her aid instead of you?" Himchan asked as he knew this would be interesting. "No, not at all" he said casually. I shook my head feeling guilty for listening.

"Alright then, Nana!" Daehyun called out. I stumbled towards the bathroom to make it look like I just got out and then walked out casually as he arrived followed by himchan "Come on let's chat " he said. I nodded slowly and followed them to the living room as Yongguk raised an eyebrow watching. I watched them as they sat down and began to speak. For a second I spaced out. My mind has gone blank. I want sure why but it was because of the food, my body was now going to reject it as my mind began to insult me. "So Nana, how old are you" was the question they really asked. But knowing my mind it went a little like this:

God you're so ugly, you make me gag. Why are you still alive fat pig! Go kill yourself. Oh my god I pity the man who falls in love with you. Stop pretending you're mentally unstable for attention when we know you only want to be pitied.

I looked at them confused and held my head as I sighed "What?" I said as my voice was cracking. The same words played into my head. Eventually I snapped, "STOP! Stop it! Please stop! I know I'm ugly I know I'm worthless stop! Just stop reminding me!" I cried out in agony as I fell to the flood holding the sides of my temples and continued to cry. The members looked at Yongguk and notice him tense up. Of course as planned Junhong ran over to embrace me but it didn't feel right. I only pushed him away and sobbed more as curled up on the floor shouting for it to stop.

The boys stared at their member Yongguk as he sat there tense gripping his jeans and tapping his foot nervously as his younger members continued to speak making it harder for me. Eventually he got up and rushed over pulling me into a tight embrace and rocked back and forth. Himchan was more than thrilled he had predicted this would happen. Junhong of course was a bit confused about the situation, "What?" Yongguk said as he looked up. The members only stared at him as they saw the way I held onto him. "You said you don't over react nor would you care." Himchan said, "what's that gotta do with anything ? You guys don't know what it's like being in that mind set" he said. "No we don't, but still our point was proven." Youngjae said. Junhong on the other hand tried to hold back the rage and jealousy he was feeling.

"Let's get you home " he said as he helped me stand up and wiped my face "Promise you'll be okay? We can exchange numbers, you can have all of ours. If you feel alone one of us can come over " he said. The members were shocked that he had offered that with out consulting them but figured they could do that after dragging me into this situation."alright " I said as I wiped my eyes and looked at him. Yongguk smiled "that's a good girl " he said and patted my head. I gave them my phone and everyone inserted their names. Channie, Dae, YoungJae^^, Jongup, Zelo💜, and Younggukkie. After that everyone went to get ready for practice as Yongguk looked out the window "it's still raining so come on let's hurry on" he said as he grabbed the umbrella and slipped his shoes on. I followed him and we made our way back to my place. I was nervous as to now how life would be with the six of them.