💫 Day 4 💫

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Wow, I thought. I grabbed my pillow and released a scream that had bottled up inside me on the way home.
I can't believe I had just stuffed my face in front of him.
How embarrassing, I sighed. I changed into one of my brother's large tops and wiped off the little plop of concealer that I had splashed on my face to cover the dark circles around my eyes. I went into my bathroom that was connected into my room and splashed water on my face. Reo, 15, me, 14 and I'm in love? Am I in love? Does he love me? Of course, not... look at me, I thought. After wiping my face and staring at myself for a good 5 minutes I sat on my bed and lit some jasmine scented candles on my bedside table and waited for Reo to call me.
He didn't.

Eagerly, I rang his phone once and he picked up. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey!" I said, leaving a large silence at the end of the phone.
I heard a girl in the background,
"Who is that baby?" She said.

I threw my phone in astonishment.
Baby? Did someone just call him baby?
"Oh fuck no" I yelled, cracking my knuckles as I got off my bed. Throwing on a pair of leggings and a hoody.
"This is not about to fucking happen" I screamed.

I can remember this day exactly how it happened XD the funniest day of my life

I clapped my hands as I vented in Japanese. Sorede oshimai!!Ima wa Kare o okasu!! Ima wa Kare o seikō suru!! , I said yelling in the road, clapping my hands at every syllable.

(That's it. Imma fuck him up. Imma fuck him up!!)

People stared at me as I spoke to myself. "What the fuck are you looking at?!" I said to a drunk man who had walked past me and pointed at me. I went to his house and banged on his door.
"Who is it?" He said calmly.
Suddenly my anger disappeared as I heard his voice.
"I-its Yejin" I struggled to voice a reply.
"Oh, Angel! O-one sec" it sounded of what was a dozen of whispers and a slam of a door. "Come in," he said.
I came in, casually scanning the house for anything suspicious. I sat down in his room and waited for him to come in.

Finally 10 minutes later he came.
"Hey, Angel why are u here so late?" He questioned.
"Who else is here?" I said trying my hardest not to sound at all agitated.
"Wha-- how did you know?" He said nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he does when he is nervous.

"I heard her on the phone. Your girlfriend?" I replied.
"N-No! Y-Yes. I can explain--"
"Oh be quiet," I said interrupting him sternly. " I don't want to hear it...I thought I, we, you... I thought you were mine" I whispered.
He came and wiped the tear that had strolled down my cheek. "I am yours." He said bending down looking me in my eyes. "She thinks were together and had come from Japan to visit. Believe me! I broke up with her but she won't stop coming back! Please, Babe!"

My heart skipped at the word 'Babe'.
I had never been called that before.
I had instantly fallen for him.
Only he would know that that word would make me forgive him.
I loved him. He had cupped my cheeks in his hands and leaned in to kiss me when-- "WTF Reo!!"

A voice from behind came stomping in.
He turned and pushed her out. "Hey, you should know by now. We aren't and never were together. You weren't my girlfriend. She's my girlfriend. I'm sorry to let you down Kimori but I'm not in love with you." He said ever so gently.

Yet again, my heart fluttered. Am I his girlfriend? Wow. I knew he would be mine forever but who was this girl?

Without a second going by, she came stomping into the room and slapped me in my face. In that moment I didn't hold back.

You see, I may look shy and innocent but my face is my pleasure. Touch it without washing your hands, Reo an acceptance, your dead meat.

Without thinking, I had grabbed her hair before she got out the door, wrapped her hair in my hands and started punching the shit out of her, leaving her bleeding.

I told you this was the day I could never forget..

I had never thought I had that power in me. She tried to fight back but Reo had split us up.
He glazed at me in my eyes with rays of disappointment. I shook off my hand and tied my hair up. She was on the floor crying and I had just stepped over her.
"Heh. That's two things you don't fucking do, touch my face and touch my boyfriend. I'll fuck you up." Putting emphasis on the word 'Fuck'.

I slammed the door behind me and I started shaking.
What had I just done? I thought.
A rush of adrenaline empowered throughout me, pumping throughout my veins as I ran home.. changed into a short dress, curled my hair and snuck out.
I called one of my 'rebel' friends as people use to say and he came and picked me up. He took me to a club that didn't need ID's and by the time we got there it had just hit 1 am.

But at the time I didn't give a fuck.
I just wanted to party, get drunk and well, get him and that look out of my mind.

Some more of my friends came and we ended up dancing, grinding on random people and getting full blown drunk. Half of me regrets it and half of me doesn't.

By the time it was 3 am, we were all in the toilet puking our heads off. I heard a couple buzzes on my phone and picked it up.

"Oh hello, darrrrrling" I slurred.

"Angel? Where the fuck are you? Its 3 in the morning and I'm worried! You haven't been answering your texts or calls and I went to your house and you weren't there!"

"You think I give a shit I'm in a club partying the night away" I babbled.

"How did you get in there?! Where are you?! What club?! Who are you with?!" He asked angrily.

"I don't fucking knowww!"

"I'm coming to get you!" He yelled slamming down his phone as I did mine.
"Yeahhhhh fuck you!" I said sticking up my middle finger as if he was there.

I got up and as I was leaving the toilet I walked into someone. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oi, you!" I said poking his chest not even looking up.
He suddenly picked me up as I screamed.
"Its Reo" said a gentle voice.
A sudden calmness ran throughout my body until we got out of the club but the drunkness soon came back. He had put me on his back and was taking me to his place as I could remember the lovely trees and houses we had walked passed before.

"Why did you do that Angel?! You could've gotten hurt! Don't you understand? Why? I would have never forgiven myself, Ye! Why?! your not your usual self!" He yelled, pushing me up again on his back.

"I want to die," I said slurring my words.
"W-what?" He said gently, putting me down and staring into my eyes.
"I'm guilty, I hurt her 10x worse did she hit me. I want to kill myself for my sins.I don't deserve to be here."
I said flopping onto the pavement, screaming and crying. "I don't want to be here! I want to die!" I said repeatedly crying throughout my words.

"Stop." Sobbed Reo. He was crying.
I had a mental breakdown in public and he just held my hand. I couldn't stop screaming that I had wanted to die.
It was said through drunken breath but it was true deep inside.

I had wanted to die...

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