Heart break

Chapter 3:Study Session

"My mom used to tell me you only see the world through black and white, then when you meet your soul mate you can see colours. I used to love that story but I haven't had that stupid colour moment I guess there is more to it then when you see them, my dad used to add it's once you have your first kiss you will see the colour, I guess I'm waiting for that moment." Ugh great I just told him the stupidest thing ever but he just looks like he is thinking about it about the logic, we got very off topic his mom said 'why not go to your room for a bit and I'll make dinner Amanda you have to stay for dinner for helping Sade sometimes he's hopeless' man she's awesome so we are just chilling till then. I'm later across his bed eyes closed trying to relax and remember everything about my mom and dad, they said that when I was 5 so just over 10 years ago and I still miss them. Sade is laying looking at me on the other side of his bed but I think he sees the pain yet can't understand why I'm hurting. "You must love your parents too bad we haven't seen colour yet" I feel like I'm about to cry but I've only started to talk to him and I really don't want to tell him, or cry to him. " my mom is all I have left" Sade says very quietly "my dad passed away a few years ago, he was a good father. I can see you love them, your parents. But when you talk about them you seem hurt" he trails off probably knowing I won't talk or he sees the single tear going down my cheek.  I need to leave it behind  leave behind the pain I've gone through, " let's get back to chemistry" I am quiet and sound afraid, I am afraid. " ya sure but one thing? Let's explore OUR chemistry." That wink tho idiot I knew he would make that joke but it's making me smile for some reason idiot "no Sade I'm not a toy like all your whores, they are why you don't see colour yet" I just need to shut him out shut everyone but Ashlynd out, she's the only one who knows. "Dinner Sade Amanda come and eat!!!" Sade's mother yells man talk about perfect timing. I get up and start to walk away but when I reach his door I heard his bed squeak and he grabbed my wrist, I looked at him and thought what he fuck do I have to lose? I leaned in giving him enough time to pull away and I kissed him lightly and sweetly, I pulled away and walked downstairs leaving him speechless. Oh god no no no no no no no no no no not Sade it can't be Sade as I sit in the dining room with Sade beside me and ms.hill across from me I start to see colour, it's beautiful but it can't be Sade.

^~^~^~^~^Time skip^~^~^~^~^
8pm
"Thank you very much ms.hill for dinner" it was amazing most of tonight was perfect "no no Amanda thank you sweetheart for helping clean up it was a pleasure to have someone other then me and Sade for dinner. Why don't you and Sade go upstairs and finish studying?" I was going she wouldn't say that "yeah sure I'll just go up to his room........." I feel like I'm about to get yelled at for that little stunt well fuck. While I'm walking up to the third floor of Sade's house to where his room is all I'm thinking about is all the new colours. There beautiful and I wonder if Sade sees it, can he see them too? "Yo Amanda come here" shit it's Sade he's at his doorway fuck fuck fuck fuck welp might as well go die now good bye world, "do you see it????" Wait that means Sade sees the colour I can't let him know "ummm see what? I don't understand what you mean?" God damn it just lying now great I feel like he knows like he can see it but nope #FakeItTillYouMakeIt. He looks almost disappointed, how why? "Ya know.....the colours can't you see them? " he sounds so Self-conscious. Did I do this to him? "Ha you thought the colour thing was real? Whatever we are done for today, that mean little Sade has got a new plaything? Well that's not going to happen, I see nothing." I walk away starting to run when I get to the stairs I'm crying by the time I hit the second floor hearing Sade call my name over and over again behind me I reach the main exit and I can almost feel Sade behind me he's so close to grabbing me but I burst out the door with him still close behind and jump into my 67' impala and go to pull out, Sade hand hits my window as I reverse out of his driveway and down the road. The last blurry thing I see is Sade standing in the middle of the road, looking like he was broken. He doesn't even know what it feels like to be broken he's a pampered boy too bad now I see colours but I threw away the guy who showed them to me.