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Thoughts (A Poem)

I see the past when I close my eyes,
I explore the sea, so dark and vast,
Half past midnight I stay awake,
It's not a good time for heaven's sake,

They assume my silence,
As a ruse remark,
They stay away from me,
Because I cause no glee,

It's not you, it's me,
The whisper is my only true friend,
It keeps me locked,
It makes old wounds never mend,

I hate it when the numbers are odd,
It means I have to worry again,
Worry to find a hand to hold on,
It always ends up to my disdain,

It's better to say it in riddles,
Than to say it directly,
They won't understand,
They'll just tell me I'm lonely,

I am lonely,
But there's more to that,
I can't stop thinking,
I feel like I'm sinking,

I'll keep it in,
I'm taking this one to the grave,
No one needs to know,
I just need to be brave,

But everyday,
It feels like I'm slowly dying,
The more I keep it in,
The thoughts keep coming,

Now I am buried,
In sadness and darkness,
No one is affected,
And I feel so weightless,