Find Your Fire - The Angulus Chronicles #1

Chapter Thirty-Three

Hey guys, this chapter might have more grammar mistakes than usual, but I am a little too tired to change it, and I still want to share it with you. Hope you can read over it.

Lorem POV

A ball. A royal freaking ball. Tonight. The children outside chatted with happy anticipation. Oh, how I would  love for life to be so easy that a royal ball would be the bright side of the week.

Sadly, that's not reality and is there no such thing as a bright side. Only a lesser bad one.

I dumped my belt with knives on the bed and heaved a sigh. I was supposed to be going with Catalina, but there was no chance in hell I would be able to deal with that.

My stomach twisted in disgust as I thought about the past events of yesterday. I had almost hurt her. I had almost taken her life just because she yanked her hand away. Her hand. I was turning into a monster. A god damn monster without any sense of reality or remorse.

She had feared me. She never feared me, never thought bad about me, but yesterday I went too far. I didn't particularly care if people were scared of me, but if there was one person I didn't want to hurt, it was Catalina.

My blood started thrumming in my ears. I had almost fucked her too, just to spite Oahn.

Oahn. My only friend, who has been doing nothing else but keeping Catalina safe. To protect her from me. For me.

I didn't blame his sexual attraction towards C. The fact he hasn't dragged her into his bed when his whole body was yearning to, proved how amazingly loyal he was. I had to tell him I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-...

I staggered back and pushed the thought away. It wouldn't do me any good to think about what could've happened if Catalina hadn't interfered.

For the first time in days, my thoughts were a little clearer. I wasn't sure why but I had a guess. Should I be worried Catalina had such an influence over me? But I knew it was only a fantasy and only one wrong move could pull me over the edge.

The black suite on the bed stared at me. Though I didn't really want to go, it would be a good place to mingle with the guests. Or it could ended in a blood bath.

I clenched my fists and paced to the balcony, the soft orange lights of the setting sun casting a warm glow over the rose garden beneath. Was I really going? Was I able to keep my composure?

Hell. I was living a literal hell, every though, every action asked for me to check if it was safe for me to go.

I'm going. There. Decided.

But the tension that was coiling in my stomach didn't get any less. It was better for me not to carry any weapons, just in case, but I couldn't leave them behind. A social event like this was a target for people with bad intentions. Was it for me, I had left them behind, but one thought about Catalina's lovely face, had me walking back into my room again and grabbing one sword and two daggers. Just in case, right?

...

The ballroom was crowded. Too crowded. People were everywhere, waltzing, drinking, laughing, and I was trying my best to ignore their innocent scents asking for me to attack them. So weak. All it would take was-...

Orin grabbed my shoulder and kept me from going after a chubby guy. "Don't. It'd only leave behind a mess, wouldn't it?"

My body tensed but I let her pull me back against the wall. She quickly let go of me and slouched against the wall again, boredom wafting off of her in big waves.

Orin was on Lorem-duty. As soon as I arrived, she joined me to make sure I wouldn't do something stupid. I was glad she was. If it weren't for her, my mind would have been fogged with aggression an hour ago.