You Were The Song

Of Setbacks and Sadness

Blaine hadn’t visited Ohio in ages. He didn’t really enjoy it much when he lived there, and he liked it even less when he left. The few memories of the place worth cherishing all involved the disaster that began and ended with Kurt.

It was strange, really. Blaine hadn’t ever expected to fall in love, and certainly didn’t expect it to happen in high school. Yet, the moment that he’d seen that God forsaken angel on the staircase in Dalton, his whole world had been flipped upside down. He didn’t know then. He didn’t know that one day he’d be head over heels for the new kid; but he did know that something special had happened.

It had taken a long time for them to get together. Looking back, Blaine realised that it was longer than he would have liked. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been interested. Oh gosh, no. He’d most definitely been interested. It was just that Kurt had just been so fast paced, Blaine couldn’t keep up. He’d been born to live in New York with the bright lights and subtle glamour. One minute he could be prattling about Prada, the next, gushing over some fabulous sheet music that he’d gotten on sale—Blaine wasn’t used to it. But he loved it because it was part of what Kurt was. He loved it because it was Kurt expressing himself to the best of his ability; allowing himself to shine to his greatest potential. So he gave it a try. The kiss in the Dalton room, that speech that he’d made up on the spot; they were real, but he had no idea what he was doing. For all he had known, Kurt could have pushed him away and fled. But he didn’t. And the ecstatic feeling in Blaine’s stomach pushed itself up regardless of how much he tried to suppress it. That probably should have been the first signal; the warm, fuzziness that had pervaded his being. But Blaine was sixteen, just a sophomore. How was he supposed to know he was in love?

Time went on, but things didn’t seem exactly right. He’d joined the Warblers intending to have fun singing with friends. But with Kurt in his life, it seemed a little weird. It when Kurt finally told him what he was too blind to see; “I feel like we’re Blaine and the Pips”, that he realised exactly how predictable Warbler performances were. He loved his group. He did. They had been his support system through his parent issues. However, rehearsed, in-step choreography wasn’t quite the same as the impromptu performances that the New Directions put on every week.

Once Kurt transferred back to McKinley, Blaine just got hit by the emptiness even more. Kurt’s glee club was just having fun. Blaine had always been a little jealous of that, inside. He never mentioned it, but he envied the close knit group with all their petty drama. That combined with the adorable puppy-eyed look that Kurt had been wearing when he proposed that Blaine switch schools was enough. Blaine transferred schools in that instant, and he’d do it again and again; he’d do anything at all, if Kurt looked at him that way again.

And there was the second warning. This time, Blaine had realised it much quicker. He’d never dropped anything as important as his education just for a boyfriend. He knew that he was more out of his comfort zone than ever. He knew that things could end horribly, and that he could be left all alone to fend for himself in a fiercely homophobic school. But somehow, Kurt seemed so worth it.

His heart was completely shattered when he found out that it wasn’t.

And now look where he ended up. Heartbroken from when Kurt left him. Luckily, Blaine was a fighter, and had managed to find success from it all, as well as a feeling that was reminiscent of happiness. It was almost as if his life had had some semblance of normalcy. But of course, nothing ever went smoothly for him.

Kurt was back. The man who abruptly broke up with him had shown up again. Almost the way it was before, but not quite. It wouldn’t ever be the same. How could it? If their breakup had been a shock to Blaine, Kurt’s reappearance was similar to an apocalypse. All the walls that he’d built up over the years had come crashing down with one glance at Kurt. Every single day, Blaine’s mind spun and thoughts whirled.