little short stories

Who I am

"I'm Tongan"

"But your not"

Yes a little comment but it opens up deep scars that I have tried to cover up over the many years that have past. I had let him in once, gave him a glance into my dark world hoping he could be a light to guide me out of my troubled life. I thought that he was someone I could trust, someone to save me from myself but I was soon to learn that no one is to be trusted. I told him a secret one I had thought he could keep on the inside but yet again I was shown that somethings are but left unsaid. I know that it's meant as a joke but its the one joke I can't make myself laugh at. To him it must be harmless, nothing t worry about but to me it means all the difference.

It means that I am not accepted for who I am, It means that I have no true place in this world that I do not belong with anyone. It means that my fight to be seen as equal between my family members and community is for nothing. That I should give up because there is no point. That the cuts and scars upon my mind aren't worth a thing. That memories of a dark past that haunt me, that the insecurities I had battled for many years have won.

Once upon a time I might of agreed, a shameful part of my life I wish to be buried. I cannot change what I have done or said but I will change what I do and say. I can't help what is in my blood but I am proud of who I am. I have found peace by accepting this part of myself and I will rep it until I die. I just hope that before that happens he will be able to see me the way I see myself.

Tongan

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This is very short but It comes from a personal place. I wanted it to kind of reflect what it feels like to be Mixed or biracial.

biracial

bʌɪˈreɪʃ(ə)l/

adjective

adjective: bi-racial

concerning or containing members of two racial groups.

I had found it difficult growing up and a lot of people got my background wrong or told me I was one thing and not the other. I have had this on my chest for a while and hoped that this could help others see the struggle some have with identity.