I spent a decade pretending nothing bothered me
Came out the other side with a death wish and no identity
A hundred regrets held in just a handful of memories,
So closed off from my emotions, I couldn’t feel anything.
Still popping pills that never worked in the first place
Always wore a mask to hide the fact that I might break.
All alone cause I ran from any friends that I did make.
Angry that nobody saw pain hidden under a fake face.
As time passed, I started doing some real shitty things.
So out of touch with reality, I acted but I couldn’t think.
I just kept drifting even when my ship began to sink.
Hit rock bottom before I could even buy a drink.
Tell me about faith.
Tell me about love.
Tell me about hope,
When I have none.
Tell me about God.
Tell me you believe.
Tell me he is good,
When he hasn't been to me.
I spent the next two weeks hiding in my room,
I was afraid to leave and barely moved.
I worried it was too late, that there was nothing I could do.
How could anybody still love me if they knew the truth?
Who would honestly care for a person who hates himself?
But I was bursting at this point and needed someone to tell,
Had my parents take me to the hospital so I could ask for help.
I went there every day for three weeks so they could make me well.
The last day was still just the beginning of my journey out of hell,
Had to spend a lot of time climbing to make up for how far I fell,
Figure out who I was without the lies and labels society likes to sell.
Be true to myself regardless of the critics who would be compelled to raise hell.
