Nathaniel Jean's Senior Year

17: Nathaniel Jean's Magic Trick

"Can I come over?" It was 7:00 on Sunday evening, so Lucas should be home from the theater company by now, and I was bored as hell.

"I mean, you can," Lucas said over the phone. "Shawn is out, probably screwing some girl over, so he won't be back anytime soon. But my friends are here."

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath. "Your friends are colossal cockblocks, babe."

He chuckled. "You could still come, you know. Sae already knows. Halima, Eric, and Lilliana are bound to react the same way. Obviously you don't have to, but . . . It wouldn't hurt for you to know my friends. They're good people."

That much I knew. Lucas' friends were undoubtably good people. I shouldn't be afraid of them.

But they were teenagers. Teenagers gossip. Telling Sae had already been a bold choice. I didn't know them, it wouldn't be easy to let myself be vulnerable to them. I didn't want them to hold my secret in their hands. If they tripped, it would fall to the ground and shatter, its broken pieces spreading like a wildfire across the floor. The more people that found out, the more risk I put myself in.

"I wanna see you," I told him, coming to the cautious decision that I could know them without telling them. "I'll come over. But can we just, you know, be friends tonight?"

"Sounds like a plan," Lucas agreed without argument. "Buddy."

"I'll be there in thirty, pal."

"See you then, bro."

As promised, I was at Lucas' house in thirty minutes. He wouldn't know that, though, because I spent an extra ten minutes sat in my car stressing over how to act like a normal teenager.

I desperately wanted to make a good impression. It just seemed like the boyfriend-y thing to do - become friends with Lucas' friends. That wouldn't be easy, though, given that I was fairly certain they all had pretty sour opinions of me based on observation alone, and I didn't blame them. I was an asshole most of the time.

How I was going to rectify that and make them like me, I had no idea. I didn't know how to make friends. I was clueless when it came to breaking the ice and bonding. For a boy considered popular by his peers, I had pretty much no genuine social skills.

Sure, I could fake friendly. I was damn good at that. I could seamlessly put on a smile when I'd rather roll my eyes. I forced a laugh twice as often as I did so genuinely. Engaging in conversation that I'd rather shove a fire hydrant coated in rubbing alcohol up my asshole than be a part of was a skill I'd mastered.

If Lucas' friends were anything like him, though, they'd see right through me. Besides, I didn't want to pretend around them. I wanted to be someone to the people that were important to him - maybe even become a part of the awesome support system they had.

The problem was, I didn't have the slightest idea how to do that.

When I finally urged myself to leave my car and knock on the door, Mrs. Morgan was the one to answer. She smiled brightly, opening her arms for a welcoming hug.

"How are you, Nate?" She asked as I stepped into her home.

"Nervous," I said honestly. She shook her head.

"Don't be," she said, placing a comforting hand on my back. "They're lovely kids. You'll have fun."

I nodded, though I was fairly positive it wouldn't be so easy. A boy can dream, though. "I hope so, Elena. I really hope so."