Planet Meow Meow

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was another boring morning in Planet Meow Meow (pronounced Moew-Moew) for not only Dog the Cat, but for Grumpy Cat, and Pusheen Cat. And no they are not related. Cat is just a common last name here on Planet Meow Meow. Well, actually, it's the only last name.

Dog the Cat woke up with a frog in his throat sounding like he was saying "Bow wow" then "Meow." But he decided to go on with the morning, drinking his warm cup of milk while watching the latest news: another cat had gotten stuck in a tree late last night. Whatever. He changed to the next news broadcast, a secret channel only known about by the best of the best unicorn haters. Dog listened in closely making sure his neighbors wouldn't hear; the unicorns were planning to invade and attack Planet Meow Meow! The official date wasn't announced but it would be sometime this month. Dog decided to not worry about it, so he quickly "bathed" himself, fixed his collar, and headed out to work at 8:32 am.
***
Pusheen lie in bed, bored. She was also hungry, so she waddled to her food bowl. But when she arrived, a great horror met her like a slap in the face. Her food bowl was...EMPTY!!! The chubby cat panicked once she remembered her owners were gone, and a very amateur feeder was here instead! Of course, her sister, Stormy, could bear the torture a little easier, but Pusheen was much different.

She required ten meals, seven naps, two balls of yarn, and ZERO vacuum cleaners per day. These were the laws of cat nature. No. Exceptions. If anyone broke these rules, all heck would break loose! If one single cat defied, who knows where that would lead!
Pusheen decided to draw her attention elsewhere. She struggled to get on the couch, clawing at the fabric and springing off the ground in a fruitless attempt. She went to the next best option. (A.K.A. plan B) Her stubby legs sprung her body on the warm milk table, which shortened the height of the couch. FINALLY! She thought, after landing on an extra plush area. It was Stormy.
***
Grumpy Cat was not amused this morning, or any day to be honest. She refused to get out of her cat bed and had already clawed her owner six times in the past two minutes she was awake. After half an hour, Grumpy decided she needed to insult the rest of the world so she turned on the news: another cat had been seen stuck in a tree last night. Grumpy laughed at the cat's stupidity and continued to watch other felines in distress.

Grumpy's entertainment was disturbed by a noise from next door. She was debating whether or not if she would pee in the neighbor's water bowl while they were gone for the day. However, as she listened through the wall she couldn't help but eavesdrop. Unicorns? Invading? It just didn't add up... how could the most pathetic animal to exist be able to comprehend something like this? Grumpy decided she would figure out what exactly was going on by doing the thing she is best at: being a psycho.
***
Dog slunk along the edges of Rawr Road, a very dangerous place, where only the sketchiest of cats roamed. However, Dog and the rest of his buddies didn't fit in. While other felines focused on their catnip, Dog the Cat was more focused on the array of weapons he snuck inside of his briefcase. He was carrying about ten different types of glitter guns, each one deadlier than the next. These glitter grenades could wipe out unicorns at large masses! Even larger than before.

The secret agent turned into a very secret alley, that most cats had no idea existed. Of course, excluding members of the Unicorn Extermination Agency. The U.E.A. was a very classified organization. They invented, tested, and manufactured the glitter guns used for unicorn removal. The United Planet of Meow Meow(long way of saying Planet Meow Meow) government was immensely focused on bringing the unicorns in. On the other hand, the U.E.A. was not a fan of this. Their leader, Mes-Mesh Cat, a very pale, rich, feline, wanted the unicorns away! Of course, Mes-Mesh had good reasons for the unicorns to stay away like: rainbow poop littering our streets, toxic jelly beans being confused with regular beans, and jobs being lessened for cats because unicorns are the "better candidate." Mes-Mesh Cat would not stand for these issues!

Dog the Cat quite agreed with MM (for short) and that was why he slid into the sewer entrance found in the alley! He did this every morning: slunk in sewer 10 feet. Drop. Slunk in glass tube 100 feet. Drop. U.E.A. check in with ID. Office.

The Unicorn Extermination Agency was underwater, protected by the most terrifying obstacles in cat nature! Vacuums roaming the edges of the building, water circling the perimeter of the property, and security cats, who only had 2 naps each day, making them super grumpy. It'd be easy to say that you shouldn't mess with the U.E.A.
***
"No." Was a popular word Grumpy Cat used. Just like she used that word, hate. Those two words were basically the definition of her. She was proud of that. She followed her neighbor, casually stopping every now and then so she wouldn't be caught. She usually passed up the alley Cats Catnip, where she got all the essentials, but she couldn't lose this guy!

The striped cat then disappeared after turning a corner. Grumpy Cat looked around the area for something she could use to catch up. After a few minutes, she gave up and leaned against a brick wall except it wasn't brick? She felt it with her paw and it was silk... she decided to risk it and walked through to the other side. She was observing her surroundings very closely. Moss and mold were on the walls and puddles of some sort of liquid took charge of the floor. Grumpy allowed herself one more step then shrieked, "AHHHHHHH!"
***
Pusheen turned on the TV, not bothering to worry about her little sister suffocating under her. Stormy moved out from under the fat feline in an army crawl, desperate for air. She clicked on the news: another cat gotten stuck in a tree. They had been covering this all morning! Pusheen grew tired of the news, so she flipped through the channels only to find the super secret U.E.A. channel! They had not done a very good job at hiding their station. Mes-Mesh had been positive that if the title was "to be announced," nobody would click on it! Not even the most bored of cats! But like I said, Pusheen was different. She's only bored when there's no food.

The TV instantly blasted out recent events in the upcoming unicorn invasion! Pusheen and Stormy didn't know what to think. Were unicorns really invading Meow Meow?! How would they get here, and from where? So many things rushed through Pusheen's brain, but now was not the time to think. Now was the time for action! Her mind raced to the very first idea she had: super fancy.

Shumpy: Yay guys! Our first chapter is done! I really hope y'all enjoy it and want to keep reading! On our conversation board we will be telling y'all a little bit about us so you know the authors better! Don't forget to vote and comment!
Avi: Oh my gosh! I can't believe our story is finally becoming a reality! I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter! The next chapter should hopefully be coming out soon! Love you guys and remember to stay magical! <3