A Hidden True Love (Reiner x Bertolt)

Secrets...Little Secrets

Part 2 of  The Night Before the Graduation....

(Bertolt's POV)

The leaves chased each other in the wind, floating aloft amongst the ground. Fall filled the air with a crisp bite to it, making me hold my scarf up, over my lips. I slouched slightly on my walk to the cabin. I hoped nobody saw me leaving out early. I bet they'd wish I'd leave truly...I sighed, my breath clouding slightly in the air. I stepped up the few stairs, up to the cabin door. They made a slight creak, I was kind of heavy for being tall, I guess.

I brushed in quickly, closing the door behind to stop the cold air from seeping in. I slipped my shoes off by the entrance and stumbled over to the drawers and got onto my kneels, my drawer that I kept my satchel in, holding my private stuff, laid. I grieved over what I was going to do momentarily. As I brushed through the zippers and pockets, I came across the clear plastic case. Lifting it up closer and out of the drawer, it mingled a small noise. I took a closer look at it.

Flashbacks of before I breeched Wall Maria. The sight I saw in all the people who stared at me as I peered over the wall. The ring of the alarm bells, the terror in their eyes. The terror that I  gave them. When I breeched their gate and Annie called the surrounding titans to invade with her screech. That moment as we, Annie and Reiner evacuated, hearing the screams and trills of the people who had to give up their homes, their families, and even their memories because of our cause. Even the times I started my military training back home, before and after I met Annie and Reiner. Where kids would pick at me and call me awful things for my height, appearance, and more after that day. This box was there throughout it all. And only I knew about it.

  I squinted my eyes tightly. Lifting my head and looking up at the distance of the cabin. I held the case tighter, and looked back at it, squeezing the middle to pop it open. Inside, flashed a few small razors. One in particular, was the only one that I have used, the rest were spares. As I picked it up, and shined it in the light, I could see the stains of blood that never rinsed away. My sight got a little watery as I placed the case with the spares back hidden in my bag. 

Sitting on the cold wooden floor, I pulled my sleeve up. The only way the others wouldn't find out about this was because of my titan regenerating abilities. It also allowed me to only have to use one arm. The only problem was the blood. But sure, I could just say I accidentally cut myself or something clumsy like that. My friends had that much trust in me. Which was why I hated myself even more. I was basically hunting down my own friends and being a stab in the back except for those on this mission with me.

I rested my right hand beside my abdomen, setting my left hand over my thigh. My right hand trembled slightly with anxiety, but I held it tighter to my side to gain steadiness. I focused really hard as I skidded the blade across my wrist slowly, causing a pulse of blood to stream down thinly, but then wider as I finished the cut. I could hear the little "Tud" as a droplet of blood thudded onto the floor. I reared my arm and went for another cut, a little lower. I watched as my skin parted at the blades edge, half way for that ring --

"<GASP>"

Startled, I jolted to the side franticly, swaying the blade out of my hand so that it bounced before landing flat. My face, in horror. I saw Reiner, completely out of his skin in shock, his eyes glued to my arm and constantly glaring into my eyes going back and forth

"B-Bertolt! What the hell are you...I mean..." Racing in a state of panic, he then took a breath and etched a more sincere look into his face, "What are you doing here? Alone none the less?" He said more eased and calm.

I stared down at myself, seeing that my first cut was almost fully healed. I heard him walk over to me, he kneeled beside me and peered over at what I'd been doing to my arm.