Normal Is A Relative Term

The Real Deal

A/N: Yall it took forever, but here it is. IT IS NOT PROOFREAD SO IM SORRY IF THERE ARE MISTAKES, JUST ROLE WITH IT PLEASE. Anyways love you all and thanks for being patient.

                    

"I get the kid?" Ally raises an eyebrow almost unbelievingly at Satan though really, the chances of her receiving the honor of getting to do whatever she pleases with a human baby were pretty high.

Satan rubs his fingers against his forehead creating a string of sparks to fly off of his red hot skin. To be honest, Ally is appalled, and not even because it's Satan, but because the guy has disgusting, glowing red skin and he's just casually sitting in front of her....naked. Which is like probably the grossest thing she's ever seen but also, she's not going to be the one to tell Satan himself that he can't sit naked in his own thrown in the center of hell. So instead, she just averts her eyes, leaning back against her own chair and fanning her face from the heat.  Because damn is hell hot.

"Well, not exactly." Satan mutters, waving a fiery hand towards the door as another woman is escorted in. "It is technically your turn. You won the vote.... But unfortunately for you there was a slight flaw in the system."

Ally raises her eyebrows. Each year, there was a universal vote between all of the supernatural beings as to who deserved this year's human sacrifice. Ally had been at the top with the most votes, categorized by age, supernatural ability, evil activity, and fear factor. She lacked a little in the fear factor category, purely because of her height and delicate features, but as soon as they saw what she could do, the votes started adding up by the second.

The girl who had been escorted in takes a seat next to her, flipping the chair around and leaning her chest against the backrest. Her hair is dark and puffy, probably from the heat. She wipes a hand across her forehead, her skin glistening with sweat. "Ever thought of investing in some sort of Air Conditioning?" The girl asks, raising the corners of her mouth lazily.

Satan rolls his eyes. "We're in hell. What did you expect? Bubbles and trees? This is the middle of the fucking earth. The place where even the best souls burn slowly and excruciatingly, their screams providing my own personal soundtrack." His eyes glow bright red and flames begin dancing along his skin.

The girl looks mostly unimpressed but she raises her hands in surrender. "Alright, chill. It was only a suggestion." 

His face twitches in obvious irritation as if he's considering just burning the both of them right then and there, deciding that he, himself, can have the baby this year. He's sure that the kid will provide the perfect ear-splitting screams and possibly a good snack. He refrains himself knowing that even as the unofficial ruler of the supernatural, he too must have limits and killing two of the most well-known and liked monsters in the supernatural world was definitely not something that would end well for him. "Fucking vampires." He mutters under his breath.

Satan digs his long claws into the arms of his chair. "Let's just get on with this." He sighs.

The girl with the chocolate skin who is apparently a vampire, motions with her hand for him to continue. He growls but decides that the sooner these two girls are gone, the sooner he could go back to relishing in hell by himself. "There was a tie in the votes. Both of you won."

The Vampire groans loudly, letting her head fall back for show. "Are you fucking serious? After everything I did to win? You know, I had to seduce like nearly two hundred different monsters for this."

Satan bursts into flames for a few seconds. "I don't fucking care!" He screams before breathing heavily and looking at Ally. He's still burning in front of her but he doesn't seem to mind. "Now either you two can battle it out and whoever is still alive can have the child or, you can share."