Closer to the Edge - 30 Seconds to Mars
We were like a whirlwind. Just passing through the days that turned into weeks that had eventually turned into months rapidly. We destroyed everything in our paths leaving destruction and chaos in our wake. But it seems as though I am the only one feeling so burned after we hit that complete stop no longer spinning together. But eventually we came down from our high speed stopping as if you had mashed the brakes skidding and screeching. We were poison for each other, and together we were toxic for the world. At least apart they can find an antidote to maintain us. We were crazy, in love and intoxicated with the madness that was our fast paced high stakes world. But now I'm stuck in this slowed down, washed out version of my life after. God, I miss our whirlwind.
This world is so dull without you. It's like a fucking gray scale with hints of washed out colors, especially compared to what we had with the trippy hallucinations and neon bright lights. But I'm stuck here still where you left me and I can't move on. I miss the taste of your lips. I miss the burn that came after my skin was grazed with your fingertips. I miss the way we were together all at once, forever in the moment. But you left me. You left me here in this place that I was apart of before - but how could you expect me to be able to return to it after being to the places we've been?
Then again who was I to still think so much of you? It was a mistake I made to have joined our hands together and decide to follow you into the unknown. They said curiosity killed the cat and I am pretty sure this is what dying a slow painful death feels like. It's such a scary feeling really - feeling yourself decomposing, losing every ounce of who you are until nothing's left. You made me this way, you really did. Now I'm just this girl who was left torn apart.
I don't remember the moment, I tried to forget I lost myself, is it better not said now I'm closer to the edge. It was a thousand to one and a million to two. Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you.
I don't remember the moment, maybe it was the one when I realized the alcohol didn't burn my throat anymore but it tasted just like you. I think it was when this stranger passed by and smelled just like you, but it wasn't you. Or it could have been that moment I had smiled at you when you looked at me, but you didn't smile back. It was maybe in one of those moments that I realized we weren't in love, but I swear we could have been.
But now I'm here, throat raw as the air surrounding me. I keep drifting in and out of this reality. I wish upon sunflowers for me to have my fantasy of us back. I had written you into stardust and spoke you into galaxies but yet here I am alone. I wasn't worth it. But no matter what I can't even deny that you were worth these scars. You changed me for I guess what felt like the best. You had made my life something beautiful all at once. Then in an even shorter time, it all disappeared around me. It slipped through my fingers and oozed down the sewer drains. I can't even remember who I was before you. But that doesn't even make a difference now.
I feel myself burning and it's not from your fingertips touching my skin.
I can feel myself drowning in blue flames that are cool to the touch but my insides are inflamed - my lungs struggling as they are being scorched to ashes from the inside out.
It's time to go down in flames, and through the memories and fantasies that became a reality...
I'm taking you
