Destiel Being Noticed

Chapter 5

Deans POV
I can't help myself as I stare into Castiels eyes as he cleans my cuts. It hurts like a bitch but I don't complain, I can finally examine his eyes up close without it being too weird. I don't know why I seem so fascinated with this boy but I can't explain my feelings towards it either. I'm glad he becomes so absorbed in the process of cleaning the cuts, he is completely focused and doesn't realize that I'm staring right at him. Once I realize that I am my cheeks heat up, thankfully he doesn't seem to notice. When he's done cleaning he gently begins to apply neilsporn onto my face, I want to stop him knowing that it will make things a bit awkward but before I can say anything the cool medicine is being placed on my cuts. It stings a little but gradually begins to numb the small cuts, beginning the healing process.
I clear my throat once he's done and mumble out a thank you.
When he suggests working on the project I get a piece of paper out to jot down ideas about what to draw.
"So Cas do you have any ideas?" I ask him putting a pencil to the paper.
"Well, my belief involves a lot of interaction with angels and you believe that evil should be dispelled. So we could maybe work in a man, with angel wings behind his back. He could be fighting off evil with a weapon, his wings spread wide, showing that he has no fear and is willing to protect the innocent....it's just a suggestion though.." Cas trails off. I can practically picture it in my head already and it looks magnificent.
"Cas, that sounds really good, we should do that!" I say writing down his idea incase we make adjustments or have a new idea.
"Really? You're fine with doing that? It doesn't sound stupid?" Cas asks.
"No, it's honestly better than anything I could've come up with," I say chuckling lightly.
"Who protects you Dean?" Castiel whispers.
"What do you mean?" I ask him, my voice immediately turning harsh.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just..." Again he trails off.
"It's just what?" I ask standing from the couch. I don't want him feeling sorry for me, I don't need his pity.
"Nothing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," he says averting his eyes to the floor. He seems almost scared as he apologized and I know it's my fault. I snapped at him without a good reason to, I just don't like when people try to pry into my life.
"In sorry Cas, but I can take care of myself. I didn't need you feeling sorry for me," I say running a hand down my face.
"I understand," he says awkwardly getting to his feet, "I should probably go..."
He shuffles towards the door, his hand about to turn the knob when I say,
"Cas wait, I'm sorry. I know I'm being a jerk, but please just bear with me. We really do need to get this project done."
"Alright, but we should set a goal for how much we get done everyday. We have to get a certain amount of the project done in one day and if we don't then we have to keep working at it," Castiel says dropping his own bag to the floor now.
"Deal," I say extending my hand out to him.
"Deal," he says grasping mine in his and shaking it firmly.
My mind wanders for a moment and I begin to wonder what else he could grasp firmly with his hands, I quickly snap those thoughts out of my mind. I don't want to be thinking like that, it's wrong. I shouldn't be thinking out how soft his hands feel in my rough ones, how his face scrunches up when he is confused or concentrating really or hard, or how abnormally blue his eyes are.
Stop it Dean, I mentally slap myself.
"Ok, we'll we should at least get a rough draft started on by next time, I'd say we've done our part for today by thinking of what to draw. What do you say? Wanna go grab a bite?" I ask Cas.
"Sure, why not," Castiel says and I grab my keys, shouting to Sam to let him know I'm leaving.
"Being me something back!" I hear him reply.

Castiels POV
As we take our seat at the diner Dean has driven us to I can't help my thoughts from thinking that this could be a date.
It's not, I mentally scold myself, it's just two friends getting food together. But are we friends? I wonder yet again.
"Dean, are we...friends?" I ask before I can think better of it. He quirks his eyebrow at me, looking away from the menu he's holding.
"Do you wanna be friends with me Cas?" Dean asks, a confused look in his eyes.
"Um, I don't really know but I'd like to think that we could be?" I say unsure of myself and wonder if Dean will laugh at my suggestion.
"Yea, we can be friends Cas. I don't mind being friends," Dean says casually shrugging his shoulders.
He looks back to his menu and I do the same, contemplating on what to eat.
"You a vegan Cas?" Dean asks looking up from his menu once again.
"No, I enjoy meat," I say studying the menu again.
He takes it from my hands, stacking it together with his and the waitress comes over. Winking at Dean and I she says,
"Hi, what can I get you for today?"
Her voice is overly cheerful.
"We'll have two of your bacon cheeseburgers, large fries, and I'll have a root beer, you want soda Cas?" Dean says ordering for us.
"I'll have a coke," I say giving the waitress a small smile. She writes down our order and walks away flashing a grin over her shoulder.
"I think she likes you," Dean says.
Without thinking I say,
"Not my type remember?"
My cheeks heat up and I look down at the table.
"Sorry, I was just joking with you Cas," Dean says now looking at the table himself.
"Stop apologizing Dean, it's not your fault I am not as into her as most people are," I say dismissing the topic of my preference for men.
"How do you know you like guys anyway? I'm not trying to be rude, just how do you know?" Dean asks and I can tell he's genuinely curious.
"Well...it's not something I've tested. I haven't gone around experimenting with women or men. It was more like the first time I ever kissed a girl, I didn't feel anything. It was nice I guess but nothing was there. But when a guy even looked at me I would get this tingling down my spine, my palms would start to sweat, and I just had the general symptoms of a crush. It's just for the same gender as me," I say becoming more awkward by the second. I don't know if I should be telling Dean this or not. It's personal.
"Oh, so you've never had any feelings towards girls? Like how the waitress winked at you, nothing? Yet if it were to be the bussboy you'd be melting in your shoes?" Dean asks.
"Yea, I guess you could put it that way," I say and the waitress returns with our food and drinks.
"Enjoy," she says flashing yet another white smile.
"So Cas, I've got to ask, not to be nosey or anything. But that friend of yours your always hanging around with? Are you guys like, a thing?" Dean asks and I swear I hear a hint of jealousy.
"Balthazar? No, we are just friends. He's game for the other side," I say smiling as I bite into a fry.
"Oh," Dean lets out an awkward laugh.
"So, what about you? Anyone in your life?" I ask nonchalantly.
"Girlfriend? Nah," Dean says picking up his burger and taking a big bite. He lets out a moan and swallows.
"You gotta try it Cas, it'll be the most delicious thing you'll ever eat," Dean says eating his own. I take his advice and dig into my burger. The taste explodes in my mouth and my eyes go wide. I've had a hamburger before but one has never tasted this good.
"Right?" Dean says smiling at me.
"This makes me very happy," I say around a mouthful of food.
"Your welcome," Dean says.
Once we are finished eating Dean fights with me on paying.
"No Cas I'm paying. It was my idea to bring us here so I'm going to pay," he says fishing money out of his wallet. Dropping it onto the table I can only follow him out the door to the car.
"Fine but if we ever eat somewhere again I get to pay," I say closing the door behind me.
"Yea yea," Dean says starting the car and pulling out of the diners parking lot. I see Crowley's car, his friends all yelling in the wind with the top pulled back, speeding down the opposite side of the road. I quickly duck down in my seat as his car whips past.
"What was that about?" Dean asks me when I sit back up.
"Nothing, just looking at my shoes," I lie, readjusting myself in my seat.
"You're a terrible liar, who was that?" Dean asks looking over at me.
"Eyes on the road," I say evading his question.
"Not till you tell me why you ducked down," he says stubbornly keeping his eyes on me.
"Alright alright. It was Crowley and his friends, can you look where your driving now?" I say grabbing the car door, afraid we will crash.
"So why duck down?" Dean asks.
"If he'd seen me riding with you he would've started spreading rumors or something," I say looking out the window.
"I wouldn't have let him," He says, his eyes trained on the road.
"I should get home," I say.
"Yea, I'll take you. Did you want to work on the project tomorrow?" Dean asks, glancing over at me.
"Everyone will be at my house tomorrow," I say thinking of Michael and how Lucifer may make an unannounced visit.
"My place then? My dad will be..out," Dean says pausing.
"Sure," I say. The remainder of the car ride is quiet, Deans music filling the silence. When Dean pulls in front of my house I thank him and head inside.
"Cassie?" Anna calls from upstairs.
"Yea?" I ask her. I hate her stupid nickname for me, told her on several occasions I do yet she always calls me by it.
"Just making sure you were home," she says and I walk to her doorway.
"I won't be home for a while tomorrow," I say to her.
"Oh? Where will you be? Balthazars?" She asks combing her hair.
"Um, no. I have to go to my partners house to work on our project," I say.
"Couldn't they come here?" She asks.
"I'd rather them not. I don't think Michael would like it very much and Lucifer may show up," I say scratching my neck.
"Oh so it's that kind of friend," she says suggestively.
"No, it's not like that," I say shaking my head sighing. Walking into her room I sit on the bed.
She should be moved out, in her own place, starting her own family. But I know she doesn't want to leave Gabriel and I alone with only Michael to raise us. She knows how harsh he can be.
"Than why do you seem so, I don't know, happy about going to their house?" She says.
"Because I do like them but they aren't like that," I say whispering.
"Who is it?" She asks imitating me.
"His name's Dean Winchester," I say sighing, just saying his name gives me goosebumps.
"The same Dean Winchester from when you were in fourth grade?" Anna asks me a hint of humor in her voice.
Fourth grade was when I first saw Dean, when I'd first developed a real crush on someone. Anna and Gabriel are the only ones that accept me for liking guys and I can only talk to them about things like this.
"The one and only," I say.
"Well, you never know. Maybe he'll change teams," Anna says trying to give me some hope.
"Yea right," I laugh sarcastically. I exit her room and walk into my own preparing for bed. I feel drained today, it was exciting. More than I ever get to do under Michaels careful watch.

I groan and pull a pillow over my head when I hear my alarm go off at ten. Dean and I had decided to work on the project at 11:30am so I had to get up and get ready. Shrugging off my blankets I grab clean clothes and head into the bathroom to take a shower. I lollygag and take longer getting ready than I mean to and when I'm finally dressed its already 11. I walk down the stairs to retrieve breakfast and hear Lucifers deep voice from below.
"What do you mean you aren't gonna help me?" I hear him say from my spot on the steps.
"I'm not going to give you any money, that's what I mean Lucifer. You're sick, you need help," Michaels voice says.
"I'm not sick. Castiel is sick. And what do you do about him brother?" Lucifer says spitting out the word brother.
"I let him know that what he does is not acceptable, just as I am letting you know," Michael says.
Lucifer lets out a bitter laugh and I can picture him throwing his head back.
"You don't do anything to him. You give him a talk, a warning and nothing more. You've never taken it upon yourself to stop him from sinning. Yet you deny me the only thing I ask for, the only thing that I ever do is ask for your help. And in the long run I'll be forgiven for whatever sins I've committed, but if Castiel remains the way he is, he will be punished. He won't get paradise," Lucifer says his words stinging me. I feel sick. He's just confirmed that I am. That there is something wrong with me and I won't be forgiven. No matter how hard I try I'll be punished for my one and only sin.
"Where is he?" Lucifers voice drifts closer to the stairs.
"He should be in his room," Michael says.
I'm scared, I know I should turn around and run to my room or at least out the door but I'm frozen as I hear Lucifers footsteps get closer. Then he appears at the bottom of the stairs and I'm shook from my frozen state.
"Hey Cassie," Lucifer says casting a psychotic smile up at me. I turn around and rush to my room but fall when Lucifer grabs my ankle.
"No, let me go!" I shout fighting to get out of his grasp. Whatever he's been taking though has made him stronger than me. He effortlessly drags me down the stairs and grips my arm in his hand.
"This is how you begin to punish someone Michael," Lucifer says, ignoring my pleas and shoves me into the hall closet. Coats fall to the floor as I turn around and bag my fists on the door. I try the doorknob but it doesn't release me.
"Let me out! Michael!! Lucifer!! Please let me out!" I say tugging hopelessly on the doorknob.
"Now now Cassie, calm down before you hurt yourself," I hear Lucifer say from the other side.
"You pill popping bastard! Let me out!" I shout my anger escaping my mouth. I clamp my hand over my mouth, horrified at what I've just said. The closet door swings open, Lucifer blocking my escape, rage in his eyes.
"What did you call me?" Lucifer asks, anger seeping into his voice.
"I-I," I stumble for words, my eyes meeting with Michaels over Lucifers shoulder, "I didn't mean to say that. I-It slipped out!"
"It slipped out?" He mocks me. I shrivel back against the clothes behind me, weakly cowering in fear.
"I'm sorry," I squeak out. I don't know what Lucifer will do, Michael is harsh on me, yes but he's never hit me.
Lucifer however is unpredictable. He quickly lashes out at me before I can bring my arms up to shield me and then everything goes black.