She's a Little Slow on the Uptake (Inanimate Insanity)

A Time Before Time

'So, I won that paintgun competition thing earlier, I know that much. What I don't know is... What's a paintgun? And what's a competition?'

Apple tugged at a clump of grass. She was sitting all alone in the indistinct grass of the island, looking vaguely troubled as she worked through it.

'Well, competition is when you're fighting someone for something -- like the chance to compete on Inanimate Insanity. But can you really compete for a chance to compete? That seems bogus. Why is life so complicated?!'

"Hello! Apple, right?"

Apple looked up from her grass-splitting adventure of thought in surprise. Another object ('contestant, that's the word, right?') was standing in front of her, arms on her hips and a smile on her face.

"Um... are you talking to me?" Apple asked absently.

"You're the only Apple here," remarked she. "I guess I already know your name. But I did want to welcome you to Team Epic."

Someone else, talking to her? That was... weird.

'Since when does that happen? Also...'

"...Welcome? Can you tell me what that means?"

"Welcoming someone is like greeting them, and telling them your name. It's polite to welcome someone new so they won't be lonely," explained the mysterious contestant, who was white as snow. "...But anyway, I wanted to welcome you to the show! I wish you good luck too."

'Gee. Sounds like being polite is weird... But it sounds like a nice enough thing to do.' Apple stared at her strangely, then cracked a tiny smile. "Uh, yeah."

"You did well in the challenge earlier, too. It's weird that you forgot how to work the gun, but with stamina like that... Let's just say, I'm glad you're with me and not against me. We lose a lot, but we're changing that. When episode seven happens, we'll rule!"

"Wait, episode seven? Hey, seven's my lucky number!"

The stranger beamed. "Luck and stamina... it's a cinch, then! It's almost Halloween, so I think it'll be a challenge about that. If you're on your game and I am too, there's no way we'll lose!"

Now that was something she understood. "Yeah! I love trick-or-treating, and the number seven. It's a recipe for success!"

The strange contestant giggled. Something about the sound made Apple's stomach do a little backflip. "...You're a little strange. But everyone on this show is really strange, so from one strange person to another, welcome! My name is Marshmallow!"

She extended a hand to Apple. She stared at it -- Marshmallow's hand -- incredulously. Was she supposed to eat it, or-

'Wait. Oh my gosh, she wants to shake my hand!'

Her heartbeat sped. Without thinking about it, she leapt to her feet and took her hand in both of hers, shaking vigorously.

"It's nice to meet you, Marshmallow! This is epic! I'll be the best teammate ever!"

Marshmallow giggled. "Enthusiastic, much? But here's hoping your arrival is a good omen. Team Epic will never lose again!"

Marshmallow left her alone soon after that. Apple finally noted the weird feeling that lingered.

Yes, there was something very, very strange about that Marshmallow.

As much as Apple was excited about having a potential friend, something she'd always wanted, was nice. But that weird feeling in her stomach vexed her.

Was it just the feeling of friendship? Stress? Camaraderie from having a teammate? Was it just the feeling of being welcomed?

Whatever the case, her perhaps-underwhelming brain had one thing playing in repeat after meeting that Marshmallow:

'This girl... miiiight be important. Somehow.'