She's a Little Slow on the Uptake (Inanimate Insanity)

Arrival of a Rival

'There's something weird about the first time you meet someone. I think they call it, like, a first impression or something? Sometimes people are completely different than you think they are. Maybe they seem polite and welcoming and kind, but they're actually terrible, Scroogey people.'

Apple glared at her target as she strolled around, Bow (the new, second-most-annoying person on the show) in tow. Hidden away in a bush , she listened:

"Hmm... Bow, have you ever gone to the beach before?"

"OMG, like, never! Is there a beach here?"

'Her smile, her voice, her looks... She's so awful that I just can't tear my gaze away!'

"Of course there is, Bow. One magically appeared a few hundred meters from Crappy Cliff," Marshmallow explained. "MePhone likely made it appear for next episode. Want to go check it out?"

'She makes me feel sick. That's why my stomach is all knotty!'

"Of course; I've always wanted to build a sand castle!" Bow cheerily replied. "We'll be princesses, let's GO!" Bow clung to Marshmallow's arm and dragged her forward.

Something about the sight made Apple's eye twitch. It had to be the way Marshmallow giggled and said, '"Bow... You're taking us the wrong way. I can show you how to get there."

It could only be the fire of hatred making her heart beat faster.

'Time to bring on the dirt-breathing dragon in this fairy tale!'

Apple picked up a clump of dirt, and flung it.

There was the sound of it splattering, and Marshmallow screaming. Apple leapt out of the bush and smirked at the sight of dirt caking her face like chocolate. "Ew! It looks like you ate dirt! Or you're going to a campfire..."

Marshmallow grumbled to herself, rubbing dirt out of her face. "That doesn't even make sense!"

"You look like a smore. Lucky for you, not even with chocolate would anyone eat you! You're gross."

"Are you kidding me?!" Marshmallow yelled, hands becoming fists. "Ugh, what's your problem?!"

As Marshmallow rubbed the dirt out of her eyes, Apple sauntered closer, smirking. Bow stood between them like a barrier as Apple came close: "Hey! Stay away from my friend; I know Kung Fu and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"I'm so scared," Apple mocked. "But I'll fight you!"

Marshmallow crossed her arms. "I don't understand why you're even bothering us in the first place. Can't you just get over whatever made you mad?"

"You ruined my happiness and my innocence," Apple retorted, even though the meaning of the word "innocence" eluded her at the moment. "Plus you're so irritating that I get a stomach ache every time I look at you!"

"Aren't you being a little dramatic? How bad could my transgression against you be if I don't even remember it? We should just talk."

"I don't talk to jerks who aren't on the nice list," Apple retorted with a roll of her eyes.

"Guess that means you aren't talking to yourself then!"

Something about Marshmallow yelling at her felt strange. Her stomach still felt as unsettled as ever by her, but as annoying as Marshmallow's voice was, there was something oddly satisfying about hearing her yell back.

Bow looked smug like the spoiled lapdog that she was. "You tell her, Marshy!"

Annoyance flared up in Apple intensely enough that she wanted to punch the smirk off.

Frankly, nothing was stopping her; there was, according to Marshmallow the genius herself, no such thing as a naughty list. She wouldn't get coal (or worse) stuffed into her stocking that Christmas for socking her.

But somehow she refrained. "Look, I'm not here to cause trouble."

"You aren't?!"

"Well, maybe a little bit. But mostly I'm warning you that you're my enemy!"

Marshmallow bristled. "Why would you even do that?! ...And why would you warn me first?"

"I wrote it into my daily schedule," Apple replied matter-of-factly. "I wanted to throw dirt at you, and give you a chance to write your will! What does 'will' mean?"

"Argh; this is ridiculous! Can't you just go sit alone? Or maybe get over yourself and stop bothering me in general? It's not charming."

"I could never do that. You're a villain."

"W-what! You are the villain for bothering me. I'm cute!"

Marshmallow stepped closer, glaring.

Apple's stomach settled uncomfortably, and her heart kept pounding‍‍‍.

'It could only be hate. I knew to hate her at the very start. And when she helped me. That's why I want her to yell at me: you can't have a true rival if the other doesn't know it!'

"I-I stand up for what I believe in," Apple told her, but didn't even know what she was talking about. Marshmallow looked at her incredulously.

"Ooh, yes, it's a cat fight!" Bow exclaimed. "Bury her, Marshmallow!"

"I'm down to fight now if you are," Apple snapped.

Marshmallow stepped back and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Bow, I don't feel like it. Let's just leave..."

Apple made to lunge at Marshmallow, but she and fled fast enough that she faceplanted when she tried to.

Apple glared after her, unable to rip her eyes away.

Then Bow smirked and said, "Enjoy having no friends and no appliance, loser," and ran away with a high-pitched "weeeee!"

Apple rolled her eyes. 'That was so immature! How dare she bug me like that?!'

Irony was lost on that day. Apple didn't ultimately go ruin Marshmallow's beach trip... but she did think about how great it was that Marshmallow yelled at her for once, the way it made her chest balloon with elation that she was starting to return her feelings...

'Feelings of rivalry and hatred, that is.'

'I wonder what it'll be like the first time she ever punches me... Or calls me a name... Heh, then I can return the favor! We're off to a great start.'