She's a Little Slow on the Uptake (Inanimate Insanity)

Cause for Celebration

It was Apple's first time on a boat, and she had... feelings about it. She'd been dreaming about being rescued from the Idiotic Island for months, so that part she was happy about.

'But at the same time, it wouldn't have hurt if the boat was really big and had a pool on it. Even one you fill with air. Just some kind of pool! This rowboat for three is okay, but it's the bare minimum, if you ask me.'

'And it would've been even better if they showed up with a helicopter. Or maybe even a hang glider. But hold up, that would have been awesome. Maybe I could've grown wings if I thought hard enough. But ideally, Santa would've come by on his sleigh and brought me back to the North Pole with him to become his head elf! Now that's a job that being short would help for.'

'...But I can't complain about this, either,' she decided.

"Sorry we took so long to get you," Paper said. "It took all hands on deck to get Hotel OJ running!"

Apple grinned. "That's okay, Paper. Can you remind me what a hotel is?"

"It's like a really big building where you can pay to hang out or sleep," Paper chirped. "OJ's hotel is really great! It has rooms for pretty much everybody, free of charge. Yours is on the second floor."

"Wow! I've never had my own room before!"

Apple could see the hotel's massive shape in the distance, bulging off the huge expanse of Big Object Island like a mountain off of a flat landscape, just fifty yards away.

"How did you survive for so long with no food, anyway?" Paper asked. "I know we can live without food, obviously, but it's nice to have."

"I'm starving, I ate dirt sometimes, though. And there are other sources of food. Like the sun!"

OJ and Paper exchanged glances. "But concerning my hotel: that's not half of it," OJ said proudly. "We have a game room, a video game console, a pool... well, okay, it's inflatable, but still... and what else? Oh, a garden..."

'It's been ten minutes since I saw the number two, and I don't miss it. Man, it's great to be off Idiotic Island!'

"Bean bag chairs, a cafeteria, a rooftop patio... And oh, I bet you'll love this one: three meals per day, and snacking rights."

"Wow! Sounds neat, OJ!"

"And all the old contestants will be there, too," Apple added. "I can make some friends."

"That you can," OJ said with a smile. "What else...? There's a whole room dedicated to my trophy from the win..."

As he went on, Apple's excited smile grew mischievous.

'Oh, I'm gonna have so much fun there...'

"There's also a television in the main room! It has the local news, and a few other channels. We watch Battle for Dream Island sometimes..."

She snickered darkly, getting to her feet.

"Have you ever seen it? Who's your favorite Battle for Dream Island character, Apple?"

Apple leapt off, landing in the water with a huge splash. OJ and Paper exclaimed with surprise (something about being diluted and soggy). She didn't even stop to breathe before swimming off towards that huge, dark beacon on the horizon as fast as she could.

'Marshmallow's gonna play with me so hard...!'

There was a party underway when she came in, but not even the tantalizing allure of the dancefloor (or, more accurately, the snack bar) was enough to slow her. She carefully sniffed the room.

'She's close.'

Okay, she couldn't actually smell her. But it was a metaphor or whatever it was called. She dashed over to the nearest contestant, a tall glass object with gray filling her.

'Uhh... What's her name again? Piper?'

"Hey, uh... Can you tell me where Marshmallow is?"

"Hmm... I think she's, like, in her room on the second floor. Maybe... 206, or something?"

Apple didn't even thank her before clamoring off. The elevator wasn't half quick enough for her, so she found some stairs and ran.

Apple tried to open her door, but it didn't open, so she knocked.

Her heart pounded with nervous anticipation. Droplets of water continued to run down her sides, making her shiver a little. It felt like a long time had passed before Marshmallow answered the door.

The moment their gazes met, it was like a spark passed between them. Marshmallow gasped, eyes widening with fear. Apple grinned evilly.

"YOU! H-how did you get back?!"

"I always find a way!" Apple roughly grabbed her arm and yanked her closer. It was warm in her grip. "I've been waiting for this for a whole year, Marshmallow!"

Marshmallow tried to wrest her arm away. "G-get away from me!"trembled.

'Yes! She's afraid of me! Finally!'

Apple threw a punch. Marshmallow flew backwards with the impact; Apple pounced on top of her and pinned her, smirking.

"You'll never throw me off! I'm thinkin' we'll have a nice campfire, just the two of us. How's that sound, Marshmall- OW!

Marshmallow bit her, taking a chunk out of her. The shock of it was enough that she could kick Apple off of her, spitting the apple juice-covered shard of her out. With stunning agility, she hoisted Apple over her head and threw her.

Apple didn't realize it'd been out an open window until she crashed on a grassy patch hard enough to be winded.

There was a slamming sound.

It took Apple several seconds to scramble back to her feet and whip around.

The window was slammed shut, the curtains drawn.

Apple glared at the window, heart pounding with purpose, with passion. Her stomach had a fire in it that hadn't been there for months. It was refreshing, familiar, nice.

Soon, she found that she couldn't keep a smile from her face. Soon a few chuckles bubbled from her throat... and eventually she doubled over with gleeful laughter.

"Yes! I knew it! I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me forever!"

She kept giggling. It was just so spectacular to be around anyone at all again that she could hardly even help herself. As much as her presence made her stomach hurt, Marshmallow had a presence.

Even she could admit that it made her smile to know her enemy was there.

'And I hit her for the first time. Oh my God, was she fun to punch. So soft! Almost fluffy! And the sense of satisfaction... It was worth the wait!'

Somehow the thought of touching her again made her giddy inside. Was that normal? It must've been.

"Starting today, Marshmallow, we are true rivals!" she declared. "I'll never be lonely again. Every time I feel lonely, I'll find you, and we'll spend some quality time together." A dark snicker. "It'll be great!"

Her stomach growled, as if interrupting a thought.

"...As soon as I get my strength back, that is," she said. "Ugh, I'm hungry! So hungry I ca... hardly move."

At least her pride was intact as she walked back into the hotel, limping and gripping her stomach.