Tall. Brown curly hair. Brown eyes. Long eyelashes. Crooked smile. These are the things that made up my first real love. His name was Allen- I know, not the hottest name around. He was the first person I fell in love with, and wow what a mistake that was. He broke my heart- the way lovers do. It was only expected but my young heart didn't know how to take it.
I've always had quite the reputation when it comes to dating so it was no surprise that he broke my heart. He was considered quite the "bad boy". He lived across the street from me- cliche love story right? He waited with me at the bus stop every day- he smoked one cigarette everyday before we got on the bus. And me being me thought that he was so cool. He was my "dream guy"- minus all the dreamy qualities I thought up as a kid. He was cool and he was so bad. I knew instantly that I wanted him. It was a bad idea but I went for it.
We had quite the cute little love story- we dated for four months before he broke my heart. I snuck out every night to see him at his house. We smoked and we drank. We laughed and messed around. In a drunken night I hardly remember, we went all the way. It was my first time and my birth control pill made me sick- I thought I was pregnant. I skipped school with a friend and took a pregnancy test. I wasn't.
I fell in love with the bad boy who lived across the street. It was my perfect cliche. But I shouldn't have listened to all the stories I read. He didnt change for me. The bad boy who held my hand at school wasnt going to change his ways for me. Sure at school he was sweet- the perfect boyfriend. He had the same lunch as me and he ate with me every day. He walked me to my first block and picked me up from my fourth. I thought he was perfect. I thought he was perfect months after he broke up with me. I thought he was perfect when he dumped me over text. I thought he was perfect when he asked out my best friend. But he wasn't perfect- no one is. He still isn't perfect. He wasn't perfect all those times he got me black out drunk to fuck me. But I was so blinded by my care for him that I forgot all the awful things he did to me. I wasn't in love with Allen- I was infatuated. He still hits me up- its been eight months since we broke up. He asks me to sneak out and hang out- I say no every time. He tells me he's still in love with me, I've learned to ignore it.
That's where all of this started I guess- With Allen Scott breaking my heart.
