Our Story.

The Ugly Truth

All love stories had a beginning, a sweet, heart pounding beginning, but most stories, in it's truest form, had an end, tear-filled, heart wrecking ending. 

And it made me realise that I should have held onto her tighter, showed her my sincere feelings, but it wasn't enough I guess. We were almost there, but almost is never enough.

But I made this story, not because of the painful ending, but because of the blissful beginnings, because that for me, I believe that although it didn't last, that it was real at the very start. That the emotions I felt were no fun and games shit, that we had felt the same things, love. And I hope that my belief in that will help me heal my heart. And I hope to others, who've had their hearts shredded to pieces, to find peace in what is left of it. 

You are not alone, and what you felt is real, very real, and that is why it is so painful. That the emotional pain almost feels as if your heart is really in pain, as if it really is being stabbed over, and over again.

I feel it too. I feel it everyday even in my sleep, but I tell you now, one day, you will find peace in your heart, numbness when you look at the person, knowing that you've finally moved on. And when that moment comes, pat yourself on the back because, you have learnt the art of moving on.

______________________

I was angry, tears were spilling down my cheeks non-stop, I didn't want it to stop, because in some weird way it had slowly made my heart hurt less, it wasn't a significant decrease, but still it was noticeable. 

I stared at the picture. Of her holding hands with another. It was painful. I could feel my conscious mind, trying to fight with me.

It's not true, maybe you're just reading too much into it. 

But look, it is her. It's her, I know those fingers that I've held for a year and a half. I know that scar just above her wrist. It was her.

I knew we were in a rough patch, we had been fighting a lot. I had felt frustrated, leaving everything I loved behind, my friends, the school I enjoyed, and her. And it seems to her as if it wasn't a big deal, but it was. I missed her, and here I find her holding hands with another girl. 

And just like falling in love, I fell apart. 

And I hated it. So much.

_ _ _ _ _ _

*About 3 weeks or so together*

"Emma, look over here." I looked away from the book I was reading to see her there, with my friend. She had a shy smile before waving at me, I smiled back. I closed the book with my thumb as a bookmark. 

"Hi.." I said shyly. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable, but I had always been more than just a bit shy, especially around her. She hugged me, and patted the space in front of her, and I plopped down leaning into her, with her scent overwhelming me. Her hands slowly slid around my waist, loosely hugging me, protecting me.

My friend, Lyla, smiled at us knowingly. "I heard from a certain bird that your one month-sary is coming up." I just nodded. I was still a bit shy about the fact that she was openly hugging me but I loved it and so I let her be. Lyla suddenly pulled out her phone, she took a picture of us before asking for a kiss from us. I blushed furiously. Kissing was something I had felt uncomfortable. It was my nature. I stared at her, her eyes had a twinkle, like she wanted to kiss me. We had never kissed before. Not once. And she had respected that.