CHAPTER 5
Empty Apologies
No matter how hard she tried, Cindy couldn't shake the memories of Javits. Her thoughts would reach over and touch her shoulder, causing her to relive her painful near-death experience in vivid detail. Trauma, she learned, was not only physical pain, it was a mental lashing which left her paranoid and afraid of the world. Dying was easy. Once the pain was over, it was over. Living, carried guilt. She would never forget the way Priscilla looked at her when Mayor Montez was shot in the back.
In hindsight, she never should have punched the mole bodyguard or popped the flashbang grenade. Doing so bound her to an unspoken oath: I will save you and your father. Her failure to do so left her feeling like a liar. She had to apologize to Priscilla for letting her down, for making her believe her gymnast teacher was some kind of hero.
Before Cindy could drop off her Manila folder filled with information on Ned to the police, she asked Jadie to take her north, to Gracie Mansion, the mayor's home which resided on the walled off coast of the East River. Unlike the neighboring apartment condos and brownstones, Gracie Mansion was a villa. A two story Federalist style home where the floor boards once creaked under the boots of Alexander Hamilton. She imagined what the building and city looked like the day it was built, when horse carriages trotted down cobblestone paths. After checking in with security and receiving permission from Carmen, Cindy went upstairs to visit Priscilla.
Her room had a big screen TV mounted on a wall and a laptop sitting atop an antique desk hundreds of years old. There were posters of boy bands, comic book superheroes, and spelled out wooden letters that read: I'm not here to be average. I'm here to be awesome.
Priscilla sat hunched on her bed. Even with the sunlight pouring in from the windows, the room seemed a mournful blue. Cindy shifted on her crutches and suddenly she wasn't sure what to say.
"How are you?" She kicked herself for such a stupid question.
"Fine."
"I just wanted to come by and apologize."
"For what?" Priscilla sounded disinterested.
"For not being able to protect your dad."
"Oh." Priscilla sank into her chest. "You didn't have to come all the way here to say that."
"I know. But I wanted to make sure you were all right. Going through something like that is . . . scary. Gives people bad dreams."
"Did my mom tell you I've been having nightmares about him?"
She shook her head no. "I just know that they happen sometimes."
"I'm scared to go to sleep because I'm afraid I'm going to see his chest explode. He's like a zombie and he's always trying to grab me, like he wants me to become like him. I hate it."
Cindy shifted back and forth on the pegs of her crutches. The guilt squeezed her chest. No teenager should have dreams of their parents dying, now she felt worse for stirring up bad memories. It was all so wrong, visiting Priscilla was a bad idea.
"The nightmares will go away with time."
"No offense, Mrs. Ames but it's been two months. I don't want to talk about it."
Cindy nodded. "Okay."
"And honestly, there's nothing to apologize for. You did what you could and I appreciate that. I just wish a professional could've been there to save my dad."
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The Silver Ninja®: A Bitter Winter (Extended Preview of published book)
Science FictionA disgraced cop takes matters into her own hands when the murderer who killed her partner comes after her family. To stop him, Cindy Ames fuses with a prototype suit and transforms herself into a superhero. But the suit has a mind of its own and is...
