Perfectly Imperfect

* E L M I R A H I G H *

Alexandra was scared. Dead scared. Terrified, Anxious, Nervous, and devastated were the perfect words to descride her feelings. She had never gone to a public school before. It was a catholic school named St. John Vianny that Alexandra went to. It was a quiet school. There was no loud jocks, no gossips, no bullies, and especially no cliques. Everyone there cared for education.

It was a different planet at St. John Vianny.

Public school was going to be a different planet for Alexandra. She was the junior year alien of Elmira High. Fitting into a new school in your third year? How the hell is this going to play out? She was intelligent, no denying it, but her social skills could use work. This school probably had cliques, so where would she fit in? The school year already started to Elmira High as well.

Alexandra ate her breakfast of toast and bacon and packed her bag. Her father was unpacking, but put the stuff down to take her on her first day. From then on, she would bike to school. It was Alexandra's idea to bike. She wanted to bike the first day, but her father needed to meet the adults at the school, make sure she was okay; "All that jazz" is what Alexandra's father called it.

"Ya ready for the first day, sunshine? I know you will be just fine" her father beemed, acting like Alexandra was on her way to her first day of kindergarten.

"I guess I am scared of all this."
"Well, I for one know this school will be lucky to have you. You are so amazing, and it will all work out."

Alexandra and her father silently drove to her new school. It was different than her old school. Her old school was a white brick two leveled high school. This school had more beige bricks with three levels. Vines covered some walls in her old school, but no vines here. The lawns were bigger at this new public school, and they even had their own garden the sophomores took care of. The way the building sat made Alexandra feel reassured. Her new junior life starts here.

While Alexandra's father talked with the principal, Alexandra sat outside the door. She knew all the students had already begun classes, so she had to wait for a counselor to lead her to her new class. She had math first. Math? This early in the morning? Alexandra thought to herself. She was fairly good at math, but she was always so tired in the mornings. She would just fall asleep in class.

Alexandra's father had finished speaking with the principal, gave Alexandra his goodbyes, and left to go home. Before he started his new job, he needed to unpack all of their things and order cheap furniture for the house. Alexandra offered to help, but school is more important in her father's book.

Alexandra looked around the school's hallways. It matched the same beige bricks from the outside. The green lockers ran down the hallways. The lockers were decorated with letters, pictures, and decorative tape. The long hallways overwhelmed Alexandra. Nothing overwhelmed her more, though, than her new classmates. What would she say? Who would she hang out with? Who is mean? Who is nice? What if they hate me? What if they love me? All those questions flooded Alexandra's head as she waited for someone to escort her to her first class.

It happened in a flash. A guidance counselor showed Alexandra to her first class on the second floor. Alexandra had butterflies in her stomach, a huge headache, and needles in her shoes. She shuffled her feet with every step. Anxiety covered her like a blanket over a cold child. Her hands were shaking; shaking and numb. Every breath she took seemed long and unsteady. She had never been this terrified.

She was too scared to speak.

Finally she arrived at her first class. Her math class. As the counselor opened the door, the math teacher stopped her lesson. The math teacher waved the two in, and Alexandra got the first look of her class.