A Chase Story

On the road

[Chase and Ryder, leaving the city. Ryder is driving and running a video camera at the same time.]

Ryder: Day One: Well, here we are, out on the open road! Retracing the steps of my boyhood. And here's Chasey! Say, "Hi", Chase!

[Chase is totally depressed. And pays no attention.]

Ryder: Well, how about a wave?

[Chase puts his hand in front of the lens.]

Chase: Not now, Ryder.

Ryder: What a kidder!

[Ryder puts the camera down, then notices that Chase look really depressed. He gets an idea and takes out a list from one of his pockets.]

Ryder: (to himself) Fun games I used to play with my dad. Road Bingo. Twenty... (to Chase) Hey, Chasey! Let's play a game. You think of a name, and I'll try and guess who it is. Uh, man or woman?

Chase:(disgusted) Oh, man!

Ryder: Man, huh? Hmmmm. That's a toughie! Let's see. Walt Disney!

Chase: (showing no interest) Right.

Ryder: I'm good at this! Now, I'll think of one.

[Chase turns on the radio which plays acid rock. Chase starts doing air guitar.]

Ryder: Oh, you want to sing a song, huh? Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time!

[Ryder puts in an 8-track tape which interrupts the rock music and starts playing "High Hopes". Ryder sings along. Chase changes back to rock music. Ryder changes back to High Hopes. It goes back and forth until they break the radio.]

Chase: Oh, great, Ryder! Now we don't have any music!

Ryder: Oh, Chasey, it's not so bad. We'll just have to entertain ourselves!

[The beat is established by the car keys. The car backfiring joins in. Ryder starts to whistle the tune.]

Ryder: (singing) Do you need a break from modern living? Do you long to shed your weary load?If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried,Just grab a friend and take a ride Together upon the open road! (speaking) C'mon, Chasey!

Chase: (singing) All in all I'd rather have detention! All in all I'd rather eat a toad! An old man drives that's such a klutz That I'm about to hurl my guts Directly upon the open road!

Ryder: (singing) There's nothing can upset me 'cause now we're on our way! Our trusty map will guide us straight and true!

Chase: (singing) Skye please don't forget me! I will return some day! Though I may be in traction when I do!

Ryder: (singing) Me and Chase relaxing like the old days!

Chase: (singing over Ryder) It's far worse than dragon breath and acne!

Ryder: (singing) In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!

Chase: (singing over Ryder) I'm so mad I think I may explode!

Ryder: (singing) When I see that highway I could cry!

Chase: (singing) You know, that's funny, so could I!

Both: (singing) Just being out on the open road!

CW Girls in pickup: (singing) Howdy boys! Is this the way to Nashville?

Tow Truck Driver: (singing) Watch it, Mack! or you'll be getting towed!

Con in paddy wagon: (singing) I'm in no hurry to arrive 'Cause I'll be turning sixty-five The next time I sees the open road!

[Ryder looks at the con, then at depressed Chase, imagining Ryder in a striped prison uniform. He drives away quickly.]

Small Driver: (singing) just a week of rest and relaxation,

Large Wife: (spoken) Yeah!

Small Driver: (singing) And the odd romantic episode!

Chase: (spoken) Very odd! [Conductor and CaptainTurbert are hitchhiking.]

Conductor: (singing) And it's Californ-eye-ay or bust!

Little Old Lady From Pasadena: (singing) Look out you dirtbags! Eat my dust! From now on I'm on the open road!

Ryder: (singing) It's me and little Chasey, my pip-squeak pioneer!

Nuns: (singing) Their car edges forever "Westward Ho!" (spoken) Ye Haw!

Chase: (singing) Could someone call a taxi and get me out of here To Beverly Hills 90210?

All: (singing) Oh, every day another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code! And the cares we had are gone for good!

Chase: (singing) And I'd go with them if I could!

All: (singing) I got no strings on me! I'm feeling fancy free! How wonderful to be on the open road!

[The car drives off into the sunset. Ryder is driving with the map in front of him so he can't see. Chase is moping. The car drifts left of center. Chase glances up and his expression changes to concern. A truck horn blow. Chase looks alarmed. The truck horn blow again. Chase grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by.]

Chase: Ryder, you're gonna get us killed! Why don't you just give me the map?

Ryder: Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides you wouldn't want to spoil the big surprise. I'm taking you someplace pretty special!

[They pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester's Possum Park and stop.]