Vexing Vampires

5 - Playing nice.

Jane stalked down the street back to the city proper. The hike back hadn't seemed to take very long at all, especially compared to the surreal all night hike through the woods.

She slowed when she spotted a vaguely familiar van parked along the street. The blond man inside glanced up at her and then did a classic double take.

"You!" he squeaked.

"You," she yelled right back crossing the empty street and reaching in the open window, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling. Once his head cleared the window frame she drew back and punched him in the face.

"Aguh," he grunted, cupping his hands over his face.

Jane let him fall back against the seat and stomped around to the back of the van. Flinging open the back door she crowed in victory to find her back pack and messenger bag.

"I think you broke my nose you crazy bitch!"

"Yeah, I'm the crazy one in this scenario, asshole."

She unlocked her phone and quickly scanned the more and more frantic texts from her brother. "Shit, shit, shit," she muttered.

Hitting the call button she paced at the back of the van listening to it ring while... Caleb? Moaned about his face.

It went to voicemail.

"Saka! Call me as soon as you get this. I just got back to my phone. I got... hijacked by a cracked out cabbie and ditched in the middle of nowhere. I spent all day trekking through the wilderness. So... Call me!"

"Why aren't you dead?"

"I'm cursed? I don't know. Why the fuck would I be dead asshole?"

"Most noobs at the Ball don't make the cut."

"I have no idea what you are babbling about it. You and Zed should totally hang out and talk nonsense to each other. Preferably in a padded room where you pose no danger to the public."

"You talked to Zed."

"We hid from the military together in the woods. It sucked. Pretty sure he's back that way somewhere," she waved a hand down the way she'd come, "I spotted him following me a couple of times."

"He took an interest in you? Personally?"

"Apparently, and should I be insulted by that tone? I'm not chopped liver, you know. On the other hand, Zed is obviously damaged, so... whatever." Jane rolled her eyes. "Seems to be the only men I can get are chloroform-y Van-Creeps or Gothy-Vamp-Fetishists... You would think my odds would get better considering the recent death rate."

The van screeched away making her flinch, only to screech again to a halt at the next cross street where Zed stood blocking the road.

"You scare off men like Baba Yaga scares children, little Jane," Zed proclaimed loudly over Caleb's nasally cursing.

"It's a gift," Jane replied. "One that apparently doesn't work on you Zed. Why is that?"

"I am as persistent as you are annoying, my dear. I assure you."

"Lovely."

"You are zat as well."

"Uh-huh. Changing tactics are we?"

"I have no idea vat you mean, my dear. I vas merely stating a fact. I have heard American vomen are strange about compliments." Zed nonchalantly opened the van's drivers' side door and dragged the still cursing blond out.

"I'm just fine with compliments in general, but you set my weird-o-meter off and that makes me cranky."

"I shall endeavor to calm your veird-o-meter." He offered her the arm not latched onto Caleb. "Let us all go and talk - like civilized people."

Jane quirked an eyebrow, "You're not going to kill and/or rape me and leave me in some back alley are you?"

Zed looked genuinely shocked.

"Of course not! Vhat vould make you say such a zing?"

"Um, you're weird and your boy Caleb is weird."

"You can trust zat after last night, you have nozing to fear from eizer Caleb or myself."

She sighed and took his arm, "I am a complete idiot."

"Somehow I doubt zat."