Don't leave //ShawnMendes//

Chapter 24

For the next hour I walked around town. I looked at all the parts me and my dad used to go when I was little. The ice cream shop. He'd always get vanilla and I'd get chocolate. He always waited until I spilled so he could have a taste of mine. I haven't been here in a while, it's closed now for the winter. I went past the arcade, where I had my 9th birthday party. My dad surprised us with pizza. He was always fun about surprises. I even went passed the church where my mom and Dad got married. Of course I was never there, but I've seen pictures. My moms beautiful wedding dress seeping off of the shoulders with so much detail on the sleeves. She looked stunning in it. And my father looked so happy and handsome in all our pictures. They truly were the perfect couple.

I imagine Dave used to be like that once. When him and my mom first met. I guess I never really gave him the chance to be a great boyfriend. Maybe he even would've been an okay father. But now he's a lonely drunk who's never going anywhere in life. And over the past 2 weeks I'm turning into one too.

Finally I passed the bridge my family used to go fishing on. Right now the water is starting to freeze and the bridge is getting old. I walked on and stared into the water. It looked so peaceful down there. I leaned farther over the edge. I looked around and there was nobody around. I climbed up farther and I could see past the lake. And how everything looked so small. I climbed up farther until I was all the way on top of the bridge. It got warmer surprisingly and the wind stopped. I looked back down into the frozen lake. Tears starting rolling down my eyes. Was I really gonna do this?

I slowly breathed in. Then out. In. And out. I shuffled my feet closer to the edge. A ton of memories started flashing at rapid speed in my head. The dance, the day Lexi told me about the rumors, the whispers, the kids laughing at me, the teachers giving me dirty looks, Kat and Matt asking me if it was true, the mean girls calling me a freak, Dave pushing me, shawn leaning in and I felt our first kiss. Then I heard a voice.

"Steph?"

I turn my head and see Shawn. Shawns Jeep parked about 30 feet away, and Shawn standing 5 feet away from me. He had bags under his eyes and his hands were shaking.

"Stephanie? I've been driving around all night looking for you. We can talk about this. We can go back to my house and just talk and be together. Just back away from the edge". More tears rolled down my face as a frantically shook my head. "No no, you don't understand Shawn! Nobody does". I looked back down at the water. "Then make me understand, just try". I sniffled and closed my eyes to try fight back the sobs. "At-at school, everyone hates me. You don't know what it's like to be called the class slut! I'm a fucking joke to everyone and nobody believes me. Even my mom doesn't believe me. Everyone thinks they're better off if I wasn't here" I sobbed.

"Stephanie, nobody hates you. People make up rumors for attention. And we know they aren't true. If your being bullied you need to tell someone". I cried harder. Why can't he just let me be!? I'm not good enough for him anyway.

"Just let me be Shawn . I'm not good enough for you. Or my mom. Or anyone. Face it, I'm just a huge disappointment to everyone" I sighed. "I tried not to let it get to me. But ever since the rumors started, I've j-j-just felt so hopeless. Like no one wants me around and that nobody cares what I say. Nobody believes me. I feel so alone. And this voice in my head won't shut up! Telling me I should just kill myself. And I try to forget it. But the only way I can is drink, pass out, forget. But I can't keep doing this! I can't do it anymore Shawn".

"Hey hey, you don't have to. Just grab my hand and we can talk about this at my house" Shawn said starting to get panicked.

"Nobody likes me, I don't matter. Everyone is doing fine without me" I said as I turned around. "Including you" I cried.

"Stephanie. The things I said weren't true, I was just frustrated because I thought you didn't want me. And I was mad but of course I care about you" Shawn said trying to move closer to me. I backed away. "Steph please" Shawn pleaded.

"No, you said you weren't gonna leave me. And I don't mean to LA. You-you promised me you wouldn't leave me Shawn. Why did you leave me?"

"I thought that I would protect you. I didn't know how long I was gonna be gone. And I don't know when I'm leaving again. But I wanted you to be happy. I'll never leave you again, just come with me".

"I was happy with you Shawn. But there's no place for me anymore. I hate myself. And everyone else does too. The voices in my head" I mumbled. "I need them to stop, I need them to stop, I need them to fucking stop!" I yell as s grab my hair and turn back to the water.

"Wait Steph! Turn around! Please!" Shawn yelled. But I already decided. With tears rolling down my face I couldn't will myself to turn around.

"Steph...I love you" Shawn said. I turned around and looked at him. And to my surprise he was crying. His eyes were red and he had tears rolling all down his face. His whole body shaking.

"I'm in love with you, Stephanie Parker. I'm so in love with you, that it scares me. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future but I know that I love you. Do you hear me!? I'll scream it from the rooftops, I'll yell it everywhere I go, I will scream it until my final breath gives out. I am in love with you Stephanie Parker. I love every single thing about you. I love your beautiful eyes, I never get tired of looking at them. I love your smile, it could brighten a whole world of darkness. I love your hair. I love your lips. I love your hugs. I love how affectionate you are. I love your laugh, it's my favorite sound on earth. I love how loving you are. I love your jokes. I love your voice. I love everything. God I'm so lucky to love you. You're so beautiful Stephanie rose Parker. You're the most beautiful amazing girl I've ever had the privilege meeting. I never get tired of looking at you. I just...I wanna be with you all the time, when we are apart I feel so alone. But when we are together, everything is perfect and I feel like I'm home. In front of you I don't have to be "Shawn Mendes" I can just be myself. You have always understood and supported me and I can't thank you enough for that. Steph, I'm in love with you. You're the reason behind my smile. Now please I'm begging you. Step away from the edge and grab my hand".

I couldn't speak. All my fears melted away. I turned around and slowly shuffled towards Shawn and grabbed his arms. He lifted my off the side of the bridge and pulled me close and hugged me. He sobbed into my shoulder and I cried into his. "I love you, I love you, I love you Stephanie Parker. Don't let me lose you again. I thought I lost you forever" he mumbled. I cried and replied, "it's always been you Shawn, I love you too". He wiped my tears then looked at my bruised arms. He kissed my bruised and then moved my hair out of my face.

He put both hands on my cheeks and pulled my face in and connected our lips. He kissed me so passionately, my legs felt weak and the world around us didn't matter. It was us and only us. He moved his arms down to my waist and picked up my legs. I jumped up and laughed as he twirled me around hugging me. "Good god have I missed your lips" he grinned then kissing me again. I smiled halfway through the kiss. He brought me back to his car and buckled my seatbelt.

"We can stay at my house, I wanna talk to you" he said. I nodded. He was about to buckle his when he stopped and looked at me.

"I'm not sure what's gonna happen in the future but I know is that I want you in it. Steph will you make me the happiest man and be my girlfriend?" I giggled and nodded.

His nerves turned to a huge smile as he leaned over to kiss me. "I love you Parker. I always have".

I started crying again but this time they were tears of joy. "I love you too Mendes".