I was 12 years old when I first made this account. I didn't really like or enjoy writing, but I had my fair share of fanfictions and ideas. I really only made it because Wattpad wouldn't allow me to collect crappy fanfictions without the account. So yeah. I made an account out of pointlessness.
Within time, I had even more pointless ideas on fanfictions. They were often spur of the moment ideas or just my weird thinking. I am a morally grey person who enjoys philosophy, so that's just me. I started writing, but I never found the effort really to finish anything. I wanted to picture myself with these characters, having fun, more fun than being an outsider to reality. I still wish for some of my ideas, like being lost in a storm or having an accident being able to transport you to a different body. But in the end it's all wishful thinking.
At the time, I didn't have too many friends. Those who I believed were my friends, I don't know what they were. My friends? or my friends? I wouldn't know myself. But I believe that it was either the difference in our cultures or just our difference in attitudes -- I was always believed to be too sensitive -- that lead to my confusion. Anime, at least the people in them look like they care. I wanted to live in one of those places. Like the Leaf village, where everyone seems happy. Anime, fanfictions were my escape. Along with Club Penguin games (RIP) and just staying in my room in general. And after 4 years. I'm still closed off in whatever hobby it takes to escape. Even though I did try to gain friendship with many people through joining several extracurricular clubs (fencing, chess, book club, art club, taekwondo, etc), I will never know whether people put on a smile because they enjoy the other's company, or because it's essential to their survival as a human being. Guess I'll never know.
My name is Jingting Wei. I am a sixteen year old incompetent and incapable person who is just scared. I'm too scared to do anything that I don't enjoy or feel capable at. Unfortunately this account is part of it. As much as I admired and still admire the protagonists of animes, with their strong will and undying determination, I would never count myself as part of that. People can change, but only if they wish for it. I, am just scared. There's nothing else to it. I'd say that I want to spend more times on other things, such as my exams, drawing (got a Deviantart account that now houses my ongoing crappy drawings) and crying about being bronze in Overwatch. I just don't know about anything anymore. Life is everywhere. It's everywhere, along with its problems. It's so beautiful, but there is just so much. I don't know anymore. That's all I can say.
I am probably half a sociopath. I have my last exam for NCEA Level 2 tomorrow. Then I'll be searching for a job. I don't think I'll delete this account or any of the stories. Not until Wattpad site gets deleted, just like Quizilla.Teenick did. Feel free to continue with any of my stories if you feel like it.
It was fun having an account and followers. Every new follow really did keep me going. I can only apologize to you guys that I can no longer keep up your expectations.
Jingting Wei
10:42
29/11/2017
