One Shots

Divided

*Written: 18/10/13*

The snow fell in perfectly fluffy, blindingly white flakes, covering the pavement in a blanket of snow even as people hustled and bustled about the city. I watched as classy people stomped past the opening of the alleyway, their fancy coats and hats, mitts and scarves, all getting dusted in those big flakes of snow. The temperature was freezing, and even with my hands buried deep inside my ratty old hoodie, the palms of my hands resting against the skin of my stomach, trying to keep warm, I couldn't help the way my hands were stiff to move and cold as ice, nor the way my teeth chattered and my body shook. Blake said he would be back soon, so I'd at least have his body heat once he came and wrapped his strong arms around me.

The streets of New York weren't a very nice place to live, especially as a 16-year-old girl with her only protection being her 18-year-old brother, who was currently out trying to find a job. Ever since I was 12, Blake and I had lived on the streets, going from one place to another. Sometimes we were lucky, and managed a place to stay during the winter, occasionally receiving a nice meal that wasn't stolen or found in a dumpster. But other times, we weren't so lucky. Today was one of those unlucky days, where the place we called home consisted of a cold pavement bed, a thin blanket Blake had bought two years before with some money that an older couple had giving us, and a makeshift cardboard roof suspended between two dumpsters with the lids of the big metal trash containers slammed down on the edges of the cardboard. There was no food, there was no heat, there was no lights, and there was no bathroom. A bag with a hole beside the zipper held our only belongings, which I was currently using as a pillow so that my head didn't touch the snow covered ground.

As I laid there, shivering from the cold, I couldn't help the urge to cry. Cry for the mother I lost, cry for the father who was never there, cry for the man who claimed to love my brother and I as if we were his own children, and finally, cry for Blake and I and the life we'll never have. We were unwanted, uncared for, and unloved. There's no other way, Blake had said, the night we ran away from home, his hand clutching mine as he drug me into the night with only the clothes on our backs and a bag held tightly in his other hand. The money he had stole from our stepfather lasted a few months, but it quickly dwindled as we lived on the streets. People would cast us nasty looks, mostly the ones closer to our age, however, some would throw us looks of pity and sadness. Occasionally, a person with a heart would drop some cash into our laps, usually just pocket change, but it helped. Blake tried his best to make our situation better, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. He quit school not long after running away from home, that way he would have time for the part time job he had found. Blake forced me to continue going to school, even though I protested that I could get a job as well. But he wouldn't allow it. He said, "I don't care what happens to me, but no matter what, you have to be the one to make it. You have to be the one to get the education and move on in life."

"It was my fault we left," I would reply, trying to take the blame as I dropped my eyes to the ground, remembering everything our stepfather had done to me. His hands on me. Instantly, the tears I would be holding back like the strong little girl I was would tumble down my cheeks and Blake would look at me sadly before wrapping me into his arms, the warmth of his body like a blessing to me.

"It wasn't your fault for what he did Phoebes, he shouldn't have done those things to you. It was wrong, Phephe, what he did was wrong and we had to leave."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes as I snapped out of my memories at the sound of footfalls stepping on the fresh snow, slowly moving towards me. Shrinking back into the shadows of the box, I held my legs close to me and stared out at the alleyway, watching as a shadow moved along the brick wall across from me. The footsteps became louder as the unknown person got closer...and closer...and closer...

"Phoebe, it's only me," Blake's voice whispered through the night air, and instantly my breath came out in a sigh and I uncurled from my ball, almost launching myself into his awaiting arms. "How was your day?"

"Cold," came my mumbled reply as I tried to bury my chilled face into his chest, the rough fabric of his unwashed hoodie pressed against my skin.

I peaked up at his face and instantly regretted saying that. I knew he felt bad for always leaving me all day in the cold and rain, with my only protection being the jack knife he leaves with me every morning.

"I'm sorry Phoebe, I'm trying...I'm trying to make it better for us..."

"I know, but if you would only let me hel-"

"No, you already have school to worry about-"

"I can quit like you did."

"No, Phoebe. I've told you before, you are not quitting school. Besides, I think I have a solution...at least for the winter."

I stepped back reluctantly to look at his face, searching for any kind of answer to the unspoken words that clung to the air between us. What did he mean by that?

"What do you mean?" I asked, staring up into his face as he avoided my gaze.

"I know someone...a friend of mine that I met last week. I told him about you and he talked to his family...they said they'd take you in for the winter, while I searched for work," he explained, still avoiding my gaze. He scoffed his sneaker across the pavement, brushing some snow to the side so that the grey alleyway floor was visible to the elements of winter. I didn't like the way he wouldn't look at me, as if he was hiding something.

I bit my lip before asking, "What's wrong?"

"Phoebe..." He licked his chapped lips and looked up, his eyes sad as they gazed into mine.

"You're not going with...are you?" I questioned in a small voice, backing up a step or two so that I could really look at him.

"No, I'm not. Phoebes, it was the only way-"

"Don't give me that, you promised you wouldn't leave me!"

"And I meant it! But this is the only way to keep you safe. This is our last chance. If I didn't agree to this we would die out here, and I can't let that happen!"

Tears ran down my face in endless streams as I watched him looking at me with such a sorrowful expression, it broke my heart. Blake was always the strong one, always the one who kept us going, and here he was looking like he was about to cry at the thought of us separating. In the four years we had lived on the streets, we had never been apart for longer than twelve hours. Even when we still lived at home, we were together, helping each other stay sane as the man who called himself daddy beat Blake and raped me.

All we had was each other, and even that was about to disappear like everything else did in our lives.