untitled

no. 2

Ashford looks hastily around the room, working desperately to find Alice. The smell of her coconut shampoo remains in the stale air, the imprint from her weight visible on the bed.

"Alice," Ashford calls out. "Baby, where are you?"

There's no answer, as he knew in his gut that there wouldn't be. The lanky boy sinks to the floor, his head falling in his hands and fingers grasping at the roots of his hair.

November 2015.

I wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating under my pillow, softly streaming the iconicily obnoxious iPhone alarm noise. It jolts me out of the dream I had been living; the dream of staying in my childhood home with my friends near by and familiarity encompassing me.

Sliding my legs over the side of the plastic wrapped bed, I sit up and stretch. As my shirt lifts and exposes the lower half of my stomach, the cool air of our new—yet still extremely old— house touches every inch of skin. Goosebumps start at my navel, but quickly expand to cover my entire body.

"Fuck," I whisper, shivering from the abrupt chill.

My bare feet land softly on the dusty floor and carry me towards the bathroom I now have to share with my eleven year old sister.

"At least back home I had some privacy," I mumble, just loud enough that I hope my mom can hear it down the hall in her room.

I stop midway into the bathroom, glancing at my sleep deprived form and disheveled hair. I'll probably need to fix it but likely will just put on a beanie. I run my fingers through the mop on my head, tugging my them through the tangles that inevitably form near the nape of my neck and around my ears.

"Mom," I groan. "I need a hair cut."

"Why? It looks like it always has," she says, bare feet padding against the hard wood floors of the hall way.

"Because we're new here so I'd love to actually look like a boy instead of hearing people tell you that your daughters are gorgeous. That's why."

At this point my mother is standing in the doorway of my shared space, pulling her fingers through the long strands.

"Fine," she breathes, rolling her eyes. "I'll leave you some money and you can go get one after you finish unpacking."

I shoo her out of the room, closing the door behind her.

As I walk away from the shut door, it pops back open. I shut it once again and yet once again it opens back up. This time I lock it and it stays shut.

Mental note to fix that as soon as I can.

I stand, looking again at my disheveled appearance. I recognize I can't do much about it so I turn on the shower and undress as it warms.