Something New

What did I do

Shes gone I scream, shes gone for good. screaming until there is no air left in my lungs so that I am forced to stop and take a breath. But what does it matter. no one will listen, she was the only one that ever listened and now shes gone. But that in its self is a lie because I know where she is, I might even go the the length of saying that I know exactly where she is this very second not that it really matters, it wont change anything. Now the thing I want most in this world is not for her to come back its safer this way but to know why.

What did I do that was so bad for her to end things.

I mean did I hurt her?

Did I scare her?

Did someone tell her something about me that she didn't like?

I really don't know and that's what scares me the most. There being something that destructive and not knowing exactly what it is or was or even if it could happen again, no one should ever have to weld that power. Now its just me again, company that I don't want to keep. Sitting here in this room alone with no one to turn to wondering what the fuck went wrong.