Starting Over

Chapter 23

Pregnant!

How can one word change your life? For the tenth time Ellen looked at the stick, hoping that the earlier views had been premature. But nope...still one solid blue line. Still one solid little baby growing inside her. Shit! A baby who’s daddy is waiting patiently outside the door. She looked at the bathroom window, it was small, but she reckoned she could just about get through it, side down the drainpipe...then what? She had no vehicle; she had the animals to care for. She’d be letting her sister down...and he’d catch me! She realised, I’ll make this elaborate escape, then he’ll just trundle up in his car and laugh at me. No she knew she had to front this out.

I could tell him it’s negative? She laughed as soon as she thought it, you know he’s outside waiting; he’ll want to see the test! She burst into more nervous laughter at the thought of him standing with his hand out wanting to see the stick as soon as he emerged.

Unlocking the door she looked up Jan had been pacing the hallway but paused frozen in time as the door opened.

“Well?”

Suddenly she was unable to deal with this, with him, so she slapped the test stick into his hand and marched down the stairs.

Ellen was stood on the patio looking out over the sea when she felt him come out of the house and join her.

“Wow!” Jan’s voice was a hoarse whisper. “I’m stunned!”

Anger ripped through her, turning she glared at him, “you can still leave, go live your life.”

“I’m not abandoning a child! What do you take me for Ellen?”

She turned back to look at the view, she was no one’s responsibility. Neither would her baby be. But she couldn’t get into this now; she needed space, time, distance. “I’m going for a walk Jan, I need some space.”

As she started to walk away he called after her, “this is as much of a shock for me Ellen, you can’t block me out forever, I’ll still be here when you get back.”

Sat up on a cliff, Arnold at her feet panting from his exertions on the sand, she watched the waves roll in, still unable to process that she was pregnant, that Jan’s baby was growing inside her. She had no home, no job...hell no life, but now she had something throwing a spanner into all her plans. Not that she was resentful; suddenly the thought of a baby, and more importantly the child of the man she loved was a real gift. She laid a hand over her stomach, already amazed at the protection she felt over it.

“Yep little buddy, we’ll have so much fun, just you and me!” She flopped back onto the grass, and looked up at the clear blue skies. Today was Britain at its best, sun, sea and a gentle breeze, the smell of summer flowers wafting past. God when did I get such a sensitive sense of smell?

Ellen drifted back along the beach to the house, happy in her predicament. This was the turning point, the moment that her life REALLY started to make sense. This was why she was here; this was why she’d been treated like dirt by Richard, why she’d met Jan. To have a baby and find value in her life. She could deal with this, she could deal with anything.

BOOM! Back to Earth with a bang. She walked into the house to find Jan on the phone. When he hung up he turned to her, “I’ve got you a doctor’s appointment, in London this afternoon.”

A match and explosives couldn’t have gone up quicker...Ellen blew up  in the middle of the lounge.

“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” he tried to answer but she silenced him with a glare. “You made your decision back in Majorca Jan, you chose yourself over me. That is that! Done! You have no rights to walk in here and make demands on me! This baby...”