I tossed and turned in the bed. I couldn't sleep. I knew why. All the words where haunting me. I picked up my phone and went on twitter.
All the hate pages automatically came up. I scrolled though it. I slowly stood up knowing what I needed to do. I ran into the bathroom where my bathroom bag was. I unzipped the bag and felt around for the right object. I felt something sharp touch my finger and I pulled it out.
I looked down at my left wrist. The scars had almost all faded. My eyes filled with tears. I took the razor and slowly applied pressure as I pulled it across my wrist. Blood started to drip out of my arm.
One for being ugly
One for being a bitch
One for being worthless
One for trying
and many more. I couldn't stop. Soon I had to move to my right wrist. I only cut where I could cover with bracelets. Its to hot to wear long sleeves because people get suspicious.
Once I was satisfied I leaned against the bathroom wall and cried. The worst kind of crying. The kind where you try and hold the sobs in because its late and if you let them up you might wake people up. The kind where your chest aches from holding the sobs in.
Suddenly it dawned on me how much Cameron will hate me if he finds out.... I vowed to try my hardest and not let anyone know. I already tried, but not my hardest. Now I had to try my hardest.
I had to.
I slowly put the razor back in the bag and walked out of the bathroom and climbed into bed, crying myself to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel myself being shaken awake. My eyes open when I realize its still dark out. Someone puts a bandana in my mouth. I start shaking violently and kicking but four men had my arms and legs.
I try and scream but the bandana in my mouth is stopping me.
"Calm down Auburn we got you" a familiar voice says.
I realize they are taking me out of my hotel room and carrying me down the hall. All the men have bandanas over their faces and beanies on, so I couldn't tell who it was.
They bring me into a pitch black hotel room that has both beds flipped over and one chair in the middle of the room. They put me down in the chair and tie me down with more bandanas.
"Welcome to the Magcon initiation" I hear a deep voice say in my ear. I roll my eyes. So that's what this is.
I see a laptop doing a live stream on me.
"Help I'm being held against me will!" I scream at the camera.
I see the comments blow up. Things like 'LET HER GO' and 'YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN' I smirk at them.
Cameron walks over to me and puts a bandana over my eyes.
"Ok so what you have to do is simple. Its a taste test. You eat what we feed you and you tell us what it is" He says.
"Easy enough" I say.
"Suuure" Taylor says.
"Ok open wide" A voice says. I hear a bunch of giggling as a spoon is brought to my lips. I open my mouth and feel a foul liquid drip onto my tongue.
I immediately spit It out.
"Gross! Was that butter milk???" I ask.
"Yes!" I hear someone say and they all laugh their asses off.
After half an hour of this torture they finally let me go. I brush my teeth to get the foul tastes out of my mouth. I then crawl back into my bed and finally fall asleep again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up to an alarm. We have today to wonder around Cali and then we leave tomorrow. I get up off my bed and walk over to my suitcase and grab an outfit. I walk into the bathroom to get ready. I put on a white crop top and mint green short shorts with a yellow flower crown on my straight hair. I pull on a pair of sandals and do my makeup.
I put on eyeliner and mascara and a little lip gloss. I'm ready and I walk out and pull on just enough bracelets to cover my cuts. They still look good with my outfit. Suddenly there's a knock, making Matthew and Hayes wake up suddenly.
"I got it" I say shaking my head.
I open the door to reveal Cameron standing there. He's wearing a grey shirt with mint tribal print on the sleeves and pocket. He has on normal jeans and Vans. He smiles at me and I shyly smile back.
"Good morning Beautiful" He says leaning down to kiss me. I smile and give him a small kiss on the lips.
"Do you wanna go to breakfast with me and the boys?" He asks.
"Ya sure. I'll get Hayes and Matthew" I say with a smile. He nods and follows me into the room.
"Guys we are gonna go and get breakfast if you wanna come" I say.
"Ya ok we'll be down there in a minute." Matthew says smiling.
I nod and me and Cameron walk out of the room. We reach the little restaurant in the hotel. We see the table that's filled with all the boys and walk over to sit with them.
"Hey Auburn." Taylor says.
"Hey Tay" I say in a white girl voice. He rolls his eyes at me but smiles.
Me and Cameron sit down next to each other. He starts playing with my right hand, making me nervous. He starts messing with my bracelets.
"I like this one" He says pointing to a simple leather band bracelet. " Can I look at it?" He asks.
I slowly nod and try taking it off over all the other bracelets, but it wont fit. I slowly start taking off the rest of the bracelets. I'm trying not to make eye contact with anyone, because by now they're all looking at me. Suddenly Cameron gasps and reaches for my arm. I start to cry and I stand up and run. I once again try and run away from my problems.
