I keep running until I finally reach a bathroom. I throw the door open and sit down on the toilet. I put my head in my hands and cry. Why was I being so stupid? I thought I was going to do the best I could to hide them? I dont know what else to do so I call the only person I know will under stand. My twin brother.
"Auburn?" I hear his voice on the other line.
"Hey" I say.
"Whats wrong sis you sound like you've been crying? Who should I beat up?" He asks.
I laugh lightly "No one" I reply.
"Why are you crying then?" He asks.
"Well last night I wasnt thinking straight and so I did it again." I reply more tears coming to my eyes.
"Auburn not again" He whispers.
"I know. I'm so sorry Adam" I say.
"You where doing so well since you got out of the hospital last time!" He says to me.
"I know" I whisper.
"But theres also something else" I say
"What is it?" He asks.
"Cameron found out" I say.
"Auburn this is risky..." He says.
"I know" I reply again.
"Do you want to come home?" He asks.
"No." I reply immediantly, Suddenly theres a knock on the bathroom door.
"Auburn?"I hear Camerons voice on the other side of the door.
"I have to go. I'll call you later ok?" I say.
"Ok bye sis. I love you."
"I love you too Adam" I say hanging up.
I turn to the door and slowly open it to reveal a worried looking Cameron. As soon as the door was open he rushed in and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.
"You where starting to worry me" He whispers in my ear. He turns around and shuts the bathroom door again, locking it. He turns back to me and takes hold of my arms. He slolwy pulls each bracelet off my arm untill theres none left.
He stares down at my naked wrist and stares at the fresh burning cuts. I see sadness take over his body as he slowly leans down and kisses each and every cut and scar on my arms. I try not to cry at the sight in front of me.
After he kisses every mark he pulls me into him and kisses my lips gingerly. He then whispers to me.
"I still think you're beautiful" He says.
I suddenly crash my lips onto his and hes taken by surprise but he kisses back. We kiss for a while, and when we finally pull away I look at him.
"I'm starving" I say, and as if on que my stomach growls. He laughs shakes his head and then helps me up off the floor. We both walk out and walk back to the restraunt. We see everyone still sitting there but they where done eating.
"We thought it would be best to wait for you guys" Taylor says awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. I smile at him.
"Thanks" I say sitting in my previous spot. Our food is cold by now but I really dont mind that much. I eat all the food and wait for Cameron to be done.
After Camerons done we pay and then leave. We decide to walk around for a while and maybe go to the beach for a little bit so we all change into our swimsuits under our clothes just in case.
As we walk around the shops Cameron is holding my hand the whole time running his thumb over my scars. He wouldnt let me put my bracelets back on. Dont ask me why he wouldnt tell me.
As we walked around the shops I felt Camerons hand leave mine. I turned and he was no where to be seen. In fact the only one that was still with me was Taylor.
"Hey Auburn" He says rubbing the back of his neck.
"Hi Taylor" I said.
"So what happened this morning?" He asks awkwardly. I sigh knowing I couldnt avoid the subject anymore.
"Cameron saw my cuts" I say.
"Why do you cut yourself Auburn?" Taylor asks me. I think about telling him and decide I should just tell him.
"I've never really had an ideal life. When I was young my dad was a drunk and he was always in the garage away from me. Well my parents got a divorce and I was legally forced to see him every weekend. Well whenever I went over I got to see my bestfriend so it was ok. My dad was a mean drunk though. He also did a bunch of drugs. Every night I was at his house he would leave me and my sisters alone. Thats where my abandonment issues come from.
Well whenever I did something he didnt like he would yell stuff at me. He would call me worthless and a dumb bitch. Well I've only ever told one other person about this, but when I was 12 I was fighting with my sisters and my dad yelled at me but I didnt stop fighting, so he tried to choke me. My sisters where too young to remember and no one else was there. So I stopped going over to his house, and I started to cut.
My dad was in and out of the hospital for a while so I went to see him. Hes sober now. Remarried with kids. He dosent remember what he did to me so he wonders why I never go and see him anymore. Well soon enough my mom found out about my cutting when I tried to kill myself. I was sent to years of counceling until I was 16. She found out about it when I was 13.
Anyways I was put in a hospital a while ago when I was 16. Thats when I started YouTube. At first it was 'therapy' but then I started to figure out that I was actually kinda funny anf people actually thought I was funny.
And thats pretty much where I am today. Last night the hate really got to me. I guess old habits die hard and I cut again. I didnt even know what I was doing. I really didnt mean to. Oh my gosh Im sorry I just dumped my whole life story on you" I had to get that off of my chest. I notice Taylor had taken us over to a priate corner in the store we where in.
Taylor grabs me and hugs me tightly. I hug him back just as tightly. We pull away and he smiles at me.
"You are the strongest girl I know" He says pulling me to find the other boys.
