Tokyo Ghoul x Avengers One Shots

Barbie

I'm surprised no one thought of this. There is only one fanfic. I mean, Ken! The name of Barbies boyfriend, how could no one make the connection?!

Please comment on it, it doesn' even need to be long just put 'I love this' or 'this is good.'

3rd Person's P.O.V. 

"How long until we get home? " Steve asked, exhausted. 

The group had just finished destroying a Hydra base which was manufacturing extremely dangerous laser technology. The lasers were powerful and it took a long time to destroy all of them but the Avengers managed to get it done. 

"45 minutes, Cap," Clint tells him as he bandages Natasha's arm. The group sat in silence for another 6 minutes until it was broken by a British voice.

"Sir, it is now midnight," Jarvis informs Tony before confetti exploded in the Quinjet. 

"What the f***?!" Kaneki exclaimed.

"Tony!" Steve immediately turned to the billionaire after spitting out confetti.

"What's happening?!" Bruce panicked.

"Confetti?" Natasha and Clint questioned.

"We are under attack!" Thor boomed, getting ready to fight with Mjølnir.

"Surprise!" Tony yells out before throwing party hats and shoving party horns in the others hands or mouths, whichever was close. 

"What the hell are you doing, Tony?" Bruce asked, tired. He was use to Tony's schemes but this was completely unexpected.

"Don't you guys know what today is?" Tony asked as placed 2 party hats on his head which looked like horns.

"No," Kaneki answered, bored. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Tony right now.

"Geez, Dark Lord, it's your birthday," Tony replies, exasperated.

"Wait," Steve interjects, "it's your birthday, Kaneki?"

"Apparently," Kaneki shrugged, not caring.

"Congratulations!" Thor picked Kaneki up and hugged him, tightly. Thank god of his ghoul biology otherwise his bones would be dust.

"Put me down," Kaneki demanded, rolling his eyes. Thor was like a big Golden Retriever at the most random of times.

"Well, w-why didn't you t-tell us?" Bruce asked.

"Didn't think it was a big deal, I usually go to the bookstore with my best friend then we'd watch and poke fun at movies the whole night," Kaneki tells them.

"Boring!" Tony yawns and Kaneki glares at him for that comment.

"Don't be rude, Tony," Steve scolded.

"Why did you want the party to be in the Quinjet, after a mission, when we're all so tired?" Clint inquired. 

"Details, details," Tony waves off. Everyone sighed in exhaustion, still not use to Tony's antics.

"Do you want your gift, Kenny?" Tony asked, throwing his arm around his shoulder.

"No," he deadpans and shoves Tony's arm off.

"Too bad! Here you go!" Tony shoved a small wrapped present into Kaneki's hands.

"What's this?"

"Your present, duh."

Kaneki unwrapped the present and was surprised to see...

A Barbie doll dressed in a risqué bondage suit, wearing his mask and had a leather whip in her hands.

"What the f*** is this?!" Kaneki asked, horrified.

"What? How could you not recognise your girlfriend, Ken?" Tony teased, overly amused at how red Kaneki's face was. Everyone except Steve and Thor tried to hide their laughter but they couldn't contain it.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Clint convulsed to the floor.

"Ok, that's smart!" Bruce admitted.

"You and your girlfriend have quite the kinky relationship," Natasha chuckled,  winking at him.

"I do not understand," Thor discloses, confused.

"I don't either," Steve echoed. (1)

 Kaneki's face become more flustered at their laughter and hurls the box at Tony, "F*** YOU, STARK!!"

"Don't blame me for the fact your girlfriend ~loves~ it rough," Tony teased.

"That thing is not my girlfriend!" Kaneki practically screamed.

"Kaneki, show your girlfriend more respect," Natasha scolded.

More snickering arises and Tony and Clint soon begin to sing, "Ken and Barbie, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-" Kaneki holds back a screech of  fury.

"Forget it," Kaneki tells them before sitting back down and sulking the rest of the journey. 

"Come on, Kaneki," Tony pleads.

"Yeah, there's no need to sulk," Clint adds.

Kaneki just ignore the both of them.

"How about we have a proper party back at the Tower? Without the doll," Steve offers, glaring at the two idiots who tried to object.

"Sounds fun," Bruce acknowledges.

"Aha! We can drink till the sun rises!" Thor bellows excitedly.

"Except Kaneki," Steve interjects. 

"Whaaaat?"

"Boooooo."

"Guys, he's still underage," Bruce explains.

"Plus, he can't drink it," Natasha adds.

Kaneki glances back at his friends who were arguing before muttering, "sounds nice." He hadn't had a party ever. His mother could never afford it and he and Hide usually had a sleepover after spending the whole day together. A party sounded nice.

"So I guess I shouldn't give him these," Tony brought out a bunch of miniaturised outfits. Steve whacks Tony up his head. "Ow!"

"Ignore him," Natasha tells Kaneki, sitting beside him, "we should start getting everything ready, who do you want to invite?"

As soon as the Avengers reached the Tower they immediately started to plan Kaneki's birthday party. There was a lot of food, drinks and coffee for the group to enjoy. As promised Tony didn't bring or mention the Barbie doll at the party so it was a fun night for all. Unfortunately, Tony brought the doll back the next day and continuously sent Kaneki more and more dolls, humiliating him in front of his neighbours. Soon everyone knew the connection between Kaneki and Barbie and wished the two a happy life together. In response?

Kaneki nearly killed everyone and was forced into house arrest until he calmed down but at least his frenzy terrified S.H.I.E.L.D. into erasing Barbie into nothing. The name Mattel was now a distant memory and thousands of people lost their jobs.

Truly a dark age...

(1) World War 2 was from 1939 to 1945. The first Barbie doll was launched in 1959 while Ken was launched in 1961 so Steve doesn't know about Mattel's toys and doesn't know the link and Thor's not from Earth. That doesn't really need an explanation.

We have to admit that we all played with Barbie dolls at least once in our life, even guys. Mattel shaped our childhood by making us feel like our bodies were imperfect. I shall never forget the importance of Barbie! Mainly, because I ripped all of their heads off as a game.